My Christmas News letter this year

Some people are annoyed by the annual Christmas news letter, the one that lists all the apparently awesome things that happened to that family this year...the "my Billy excelled at Harvard" or, "my little Amanda took number one in the fire eating contest..." OK, I never got a Christmas letter that started out like that but fire eating contest! Wouldn't that be awesome? Anyway, put me down as a fan in the I love the annual Christmas news letters...

Look, there's so much bad happening all over the country, the fact that at least someone's family had a good time this year gives me hope! Although, at my house, all my kids were awesome! So here is my Christmas News letter this year, feel free to share with all your loser friends...; ) ...I'm kidding of course, don't share!!!

My oldest son finally realized his passion this year...growing pot, I'm thinking bible school wasn't the right fit for him...BUT...there IS a school for growing pot...Oaksterdam University in Oakland, California, where they have the highest quality training for cannibis-according to the brochure and yes, I couldn't be prouder...sadder yet, this is probably the son I'm gonna have to borrow money from in my old age.

I turned 50 this year...what? Shut up, really?

I'd like to moan and complain about that but while I was busy getting older, my girlfriend was busy battling cancer for her life. She lost her battle shortly after I hit my milestone. Her sister dedicated a facebook page for all her friends to reminisce, and yesterday I read the nicest story about my Sue from Angelia Diaz;

I remember my first meeting with her. It was my interview as prep cook for "let's dish catering" I sat at this long table near the kitchen. Sick too, I was coming down with a cold. I was so scared that she was going to turn me away because I was feeling under the weather and I wasn't thinking clearly to show her the best side of me. Instead, she gave me soup. Chicken noodle soup. It was the best thing I ate that day. I never expected her call a few days later. I was so excited.

That, totally sums up my friend Sue.

Also this year, I lost my job, quit smoking and started up again about a hundred times, was hired at an awesome "classic country station," ended up with a new dog, found out I'm gonna be a grandma again and learned my cholesterol is 296. That's for another newsletter, another day.

Merry Christmas and much love,

Cindy Huber

My brush with greatness, and how I screwed it up

Leslie Nielsen passed away yesterday, he was 84.

I had a chance to interview him for my college newspaper (before Airplane came out). He was playing Harry Truman in a one man play at the Paramount in Aurora, Illinois...either 1979 or 1980. I had never heard of him but my mom was super excited because she loved him as the villain in her favorite soap (that's soap operas to you kids under 30), and my college Spanish teacher was excited because Leslie was his favorite bad guy in a lot of television shows. Stupid kid that I was (college freshman-like that's an excuse, I was a not very bright college freshman), I sat down with him, turned on my cassette recorder, and interviewed him-lots of (now very embarrassing) interview 101 questions;

Hi Leslie, do you like playing bad guys?
Are you married?
How many kids do you have?

Leslie was so kind, he gave me very generous answers-because, perhaps, I was a sweet little 19 year old blond wearing a skirt with a slit in it (disco wasn't dead yet) OR because he realized there was no way I was asking him anything I could use for my newspaper article and he was a very kind man with daughters my age.

Then, at the end of the interview, I thanked him for his time and asked, "Now, do you have any questions you want to ask me?" I remember he gave me a very quizzical look, and said "No," and then preceded to invite me to his play. If he meant anything in his invitation I was too stupid to pick up on it; I told him I had to work that night, but then asked him for his autograph (which I gave to my Spanish teacher! because he had begged me to get one for him), turned off my little cassette tape recorder and went back to school where I typed up my article. The next week I taped over his interview on some stupid new interview I did. When my mom heard I did that she was LIVID!!! She told me I would regret it, yeah, sure, whatever mom.

Then, a few months later, there was that actor I interviewed on the big screen, AIRPLANE!

My mom was right.

I Miss my friend

My girlfriend Sue is in big trouble. She's been fighting cancer since April and up until this week, we thought she was going to beat it. Today, we're not so sure. This comes as a complete shock to her friends and family, all who know Sue to be a fighter and a winner. When I first found out she had this cancer (via her facebook entry), I wasn't worried at all because she had already beaten cancer once before, and that was seven years ago. Plus, maybe it's the way she broke the news..."hey everyone I'm going to lose weight..."

Sue's a chef who had her own catering business "Let's Dish (ttp://www.lets-dish.com/)." I say "had" because her family recently contacted her clients to tell them that she was in rough shape.

Sue is the kind of friend...how do I put this...tough, tender, sweet, sassy, strong, demanding, hardcore left of left Democrat, incredibly loyal and funnier then heck...OK, hell...yeah, that's Sue. If I had even half of Sue's personality, I'd be incredibly rich and famous with a couple of Oscars under my belt. You see, Sue's the kind of person that didn't sit around and wish...she just...did. Want to live in Chicago next to Wrigley field? She did. Want to take cooking lessons in France, Sue did. Want to drive through the Alps, Sue did, although she told me she was so scared she promised God if she survived she would go back to church...she did, at Christmas time.

Seven years ago she beat sarcoma, although the radiation and chemo she got was so strong she was warned that she could possibly develop leukemia, although the chances were rare. When I saw her at her sister's 50th this past February, she was telling me that the doctors told her she was cured because it was over seven years. She was the picture of health, she had broiled several (over 30 at least) of filet mignons with a delicious dipping sauce and a ton of other stuff that she had prepared. (This was not unusual for Sue, who not only catered her sister's wedding, but her own as well!) Then April...now this. Her sister emailed me today to tell me that things are bad, her blood pressure and lung capacity is dropping, and the doctors have called a family conference for tomorrow to "make some decisions."

Everything is reminding of Sue today. Tonight, I saw a flock of geese heading south, and then another goose (solo)heading North and I teared up. I played Vince Gill's "Go Rest High on that Mountain" and darn near lost it on the air. Last Thursday I took part in an amazing prayer group...Sue's sister Sandie asked everyone to pray for Sue at exactly 10:30pm...and I truly felt God's presence, and I knew for sure Sue would be cured. Well...that didn't happen. I'm at a loss, because I know God heard us...

Earlier this year I read Alannah Hamilton's book about Farrah Fawcett's fight against her cancer, and about something Ryan O'Neal said when Farrah's fight was near the end, and that was how he wouldn't mind if Farrah stayed like that forever, just so she wouldn't leave. At the time I was like what, why would anyone want someone to stay in that condition, who would want to live like that...although today I totally understand what he meant. The thought of Sue leaving is worse then the thought of Sue being in her present condition, non-responsive and on a ventilator.

I miss my friend.


ps...Susan Spring Cotch passed away this morning, October 5, 2010.

If the kids are deaf...blame Sun chips!

I don't know if you saw the recent report where hearing loss is becoming more common in teenagers...according to what I saw on Headline News, one in five teenagers NOW have a hearing loss..I told this to my kids last night but they just said WHAT?

I said hearing loss...

What?

I said you can't hear!

What?

But now I think I know why! SUN CHIPS!

For real, the bags are too noisy. This is how crazy this is...scientist have actually done studies on the sound the bag makes when you open it (because scientist don't have any cancer to cure or whatever)...they studied the big Sun Chip bags, because the small snack bags aren't made with the same ingredients. The problem has something to do with the fact the bag is made from plant based materials...they're biodegradable...and apparently biodegradable is noisy...A problem I don't have when I open my Pringles canister.

A Father's love, a son's legacy

A couple of weeks ago I had the joy of touring the Kettle Moraine Ranch, and I just had to share this story with you...

This is Al Gagliano. He created this ranch back in 1967 with his son Jeff as a place where disabled and disadvantaged kids could enjoy hayrides, horse back riding, and picnics.

Then Al's son Jeff was killed in an airplane accident, and insurance rates skyrocketed making it impossible to host the children on the ranch. But Al refused to give up, and continues his ranch as a living legacy for his son.

Everyone knows about the tornado that hit Eagle, but it also affected Al as well, as he was caught in the middle of the storm, and barely survived. But this past Labor Day, he opened up his ranch to raise money for disadvantaged veterans. He has a huge heart, he really does, and so I'm going to try to do my part, and pass on info about his ranch, just in case you'd like to do some horseback riding, or take the kids on a hayride, or pony ride. He has general store, petting zoo, and mine shaft for the kiddies, and on the weekend, a saloon for the parents.

Here is his phone number: 262-594-2122 or you can check out the ranch at www.kettlemoraineranch.com email him at heavenjeff@netzero.net.

A thought about "Sin taxes."

I just saw where New York city raised the price of cigarettes to eleven dollars...Yes! Eleven dollars for a pack of cigarettes in New York...they're calling it a "sin tax."

Forgive me if I sound cynical here, but of course these politicians are doing this because they have a passion for saving lives...and not because the state has a huge budget shortfall.

I have an idea for a "sin tax."

Let's apply it for all politicians who pass laws all over this country...If the politician "sin's"...he/she gets taxed!

Think about this for a second...a politician lies, steals, cheats on his/her spouse, promises something but does something else...SIN TAX!

We'd have the budget balanced in no time!

This just in...the moon is shrinking...

These are my dog's; Brutus (black) and Max (white), and they could care less...


The moon is shrinking...how do I know...some scientist said so, that's how. (Scientists at the Center for Earth and Planetary Studies at the Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum calculate that the moon has shrunk 328 feet in the past 328 billion years)...but don't you worry about it disappearing in our lifetime...no, we'll be looooong gone by that time thanks to the astroid that's gonna wipe us out in 2182. (This killer astroid even has a R 2 D 2 sorta name...1999 RQ 36...isn't that cute...how could a sweet little ol' 1999 RQ 36 hurt us...puleeze!)

But why worry about astroids and shrinkage when you have rattle snakes in Wisconsin! For real...I found this out when a rattle snake-who apparently caught a ride from Texas on a train-found it's way into the backyard of some poor woman from Sheyboygan who proceeded to kill it with an ice chopper...what was shocking to me was that we have rattle snakes in Wisconsin...the massasauga rattlesnake which "Drop for drop, the massasauga's venom is more toxic than the"...well, I digress since according to the website I found, no one has been killed since 1900...probably because the snakes like to hang out in swamps, and most people like to hang out in their homes and watch the Brewers.

By now you've heard there's a salmonella outbreak in eggs...the good news is as long as you "cook" the eggs or they're baked in something, they're safe...and honestly, "eggs over easy" are gross!!! I've always been a "eggs fried rock solid in bacon grease" sort of cook, so you could say salmonella is going to be the least of my worries.

ps...This just in...first we have salmonella in eggs...NOW it's in frozen mice...for real...there's a company called MICE DIRECT...they sell frozen mice as pet food for reptiles...this may not be a big deal to you...but then again you don't own a turtle.

Off the Beach!

I can't even begin to tell you how nice it is to be back to work!!!
But you know me soooo, here goes...

1. I no longer hate Monday's...because after 5 months "on the beach," every day was a Sunday, except everyone else was at work, and I was still in my pajamas.

(Look mom, I have a job...I'm serving up barbeque at Steinhafels in Waukesha)

2.True boredom is being able to take your smoking break whenever you want.



(It's so good to see you again...at work and not on the unemployment line.)

3. It's always nice to have a reason to get out of your pajamas before noon!

On the beach...waiting out the storm.

When you're unemployed, being short cash is always an issue...but being without cable is non-negotiable, anyway that's what I told my husband last week when he asked. Life is too short to be without the Weather Channel during storm season, at least that's my belief...that and the fact that we never got around to picking up one of those special boxes that enable you to pick up all the free channels. So the cable bill is one of those bills that always get paid well, almost on time. Plus HGTV is always on, which is a welcome diversion from the oil spill, Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, and unemployment.

Recently I had an interview where I got very excited, sure that I was the perfect candidate they were looking for. I had everything they were looking for, I was cheap, I was available to work immediately, and I had personally met Garth Brooks. My husband, well, I can't even begin to tell you how excited he was for me! The day of my interview I woke up to see him reading the bible...that's when I got a little nervous. He was reading the from the Old Testament...Psalms...ok, I can't remember which chapter, I believe it's the one that starts "I raise up my arms crying out to the Lord, please give my wife a job..." (I think that's how it reads, it's not in the King James version, I think it's the newly edited version from Readers Digest)...but anyway, he certainly made his point...it was time for me to nail an interview...And I believed I was ready, having spent an entire spring reading all the latest Monster.com tips on how to dress and prepare for the interview...unfortunately when I came out from my interview, I noticed the next candidate had also read the same articles. I was dressed in a suit, so was he...in fact, he was a friend of mine from another radio station but we didn't recognize each other at first, probably because we had never seen each other in anything but jeans!

So the day came when they were suppose to make their decision, they were going to call me if I got it. I jumped every time the phone rang but each time it was only my husband, asking if they had called yet. By the end of the night, total despair. The "heck with it, I give up..." I put the phone back in the recharger and pulled out the popcorn popper...(and it's not an AIR popper either!), melted half a stick of real butter and totally sabotaged my diet! Then the EAS (emergency alert system) started blaring underneath House Hunter's International so I moved my bowl of total diet disruption out to the porch to watch the coming storm...And what a storm, sirens blaring, thunder blasting!!! Then it rolled over the lake, recharging itself for it's march into lower Michigan, and it was time for me to go to bed.

I dreamed about my nephew last night, two weeks ago I helped with his high school graduation party and I met one of his friends. Two years ago on Memorial Day weekend his family was involved in a head on crash that killed his sister and father. He was in a coma for months, no one knew if he would survive. He did, but will carry the scars of this tragedy for his entire lifetime; his vision is screwed up, his speech is slurred, and he has trouble walking. If anyone should be bitter, it should be him, but he's not. He's all excited about going to college this September, excited about his upcoming new life, grateful to be alive.

I woke up ashamed of myself. And the storm was over.

Update...On the "diet" beach

My sweet little daughter posted this on her facebook page;

Okay, a diet is called a diet so that you don't eat food that's bad for you...so taking other people's Taco Bell food is not a part of that DANG DIET! -__-

And everyone who replied correctly guessed she was talking about ME!

Hey! If I had any willpower, I wouldn't have to be on a diet!

And why the heck is she posting about my stealing her taco bell food?! Here's how I look at it, if you stand next to a hungry giant bear in a bear cage eating a soft shell taco supreme, don't be too surprised if the bear reaches out and tries to grab your taco...and in our house, I'm not in a cage.

I think I've been out of work too long because as the 24-7 dog walker in our home since January 23rd, I now know waaay to much about my dog's bowel habits. On the plus side, that's still more entertaining then anything else on the tube!

I just took what's called a Myers-Briggs career assessment-which included two days of testings to find-and I quote-"specific occupations and career fields I might enjoy" and here's the "career fields and occupations" suggested by my results;
1. Announcer.
2. Radio disc jockey.
3. Automobile salesperson.
4. Elected public official.

Starting tomorrow I'll be taking campaign donations at the Honey dip donuts on South 27th to fund my run for Wisconsin governor this fall...OR I'll be using the donations to buy more donuts...or tacos.

On the beach AND on the diet!

Just because I'm out of work doesn't mean I'm always sitting next to the phone waiting for it to ring...oh no...sometimes I take a nap too...and walk the dog...change out of my pajamas...take a nap...load the dishwasher...watch some Weather Channel...walk the dog, AND take another nap...busy, busy, busy. Then, because I don't want to waste this wonderful opportunity, I've also taken this opportunity to change and enrich my life...No, I'm not selling AMWAY...I'm on ANOTHER DIET!

My mom (bless her) signed me up for Nutrisystems and like Marie Osmond, I'm now changing my life with weight loss, and in three days I've already lost THREE POUNDS! I've already tripled my weight loss from my last diet ALLI-in which I spent three days in the bathroom, BUT STILL didn't lose ONE POUND! Nutrisystems is one of those diet plans where they send you all the food you should eat, and as long as you don't cheat on it...you will lose weight. And the food is delicious, for breakfast I had a blue berry muffin, for lunch, chicken noodle soup, and supper was a buffalo chicken wrap...unfortunately, it is now 10:30 am and I have already eaten my entire meal plan for THE DAY. I'm now wondering, if I go to bed now, and sleep for eight hours, does that mean it qualifies as tomorrow and I can start eating again?

I also read over the weekend that the health Nazis have targeted hot dogs as unsafe for human consumption, arguing that hot dogs should have warning labels on their packaging! As you know, warning labels work...just look what they've done for cigarettes! Honestly, you could put a warning label on hot dogs that show the "dog" holding a gun while smoking a cigarette, and I'd still be looking for the ketchup and mustard.

More later...it's time for my nap.

On the beach update...part two

Since I was laid-off at B93.3fm, I've been asked if I ever listen to my old show and truthfully...NO...but not because I'm hurt, bitter or angry. I loved my afternoon show and how do I explain this...getting laid off in radio is alot like getting dumped in real life. It's like, I want my ex-husband to be happy, I just don't want to hear him with his new girlfriend.

I haven't got a new job yet but I'm hopeful...you may not realize this but when you're on unemployment in Wisconsin you're required to apply for two jobs a week...and as of April 1st, Wisconsin is using a lottery system to randomly call people in to prove that they've been doing just that. Not a problem for me, in fact, the highlight of my day is going online to see who gets my resume this week and drum roll please...it's NASA!!! Congratulations NASA!

I just sent them some information and you won't believe this but I have an interview!!! I've always wanted to be a space cadet. I'll let you know how that goes.

The good thing about all this new free time is I now have time to hang with the girls! Last Friday I went to this "pampering" party for Arbonne and my girlfriend served several bottles of red wine and...weeeellll...I did something bad...real bad...

Get wasted and spend all night in the bathroom?
Worse.

Drink too much and insult the hostess?
Worse.

When I came to the next morning I realized I had signed up to host a party...hey, you got any plans two Friday's from now...want a free facial?

My long suffering better half just recovered from pneumonia last week and I, the smoker have been giving him a lot of grief over it like..."hey, you're always on my case about smoking BUT YOU HAVE PNEUMONIA!" Not me-3 cigs a day Huber! My lungs are clear! Of course it's probably because of all those carcinogens in my Marlboro smooths fighting off the pneumonia bacteria. Man, I hope karma doesn't come back and bite me in the butt for that.

On the beach update

RIP Big Dave!

Yeah, on one hand, I still don't have a full time job, but thanks to the fine folks at the Wisconsin Hire Center...I have leads, and interviews. A couple of weeks ago I interviewed with a nice lady for a job outside of radio but with benefits you don't normally get in radio (at least anymore)...things like weekends and holidays off, a decent wage, a future with a company, hope in the future, 401k's and dental. Now I'm a firm believer in honesty so I didn't flinch when she said there was no smoking on the premises...but then she asked me if I had ever smoked.

I quit smoking.
When?
About 30 minutes ago.

I'm still waiting for a call back on that one.

Still, this forced time off hasn't been all that bad. I've had plenty of time to watch Oprah AND Ellen, and one of them, I don't remember who, interviewed Wynonna. (Judd-former country singer superstar-and darn-it, I still play her music!) Now Wynonna has either an album or book out-I don't remember-because all I remember was Wynonna was talking about some new diet PILL she was on, and I'm all about (DIET) pills! It's called Alli, and it's suppose to prevent your body from absorbing fat from your food, so I put down the bag of fritos I was consuming and speeded down to Walgreens to buy this new miracle product. It looked simple enough, take a blue pill before you stick something in your mouth and try to keep the fat grams down to 12 grams...easy, right? There was also something in the fine print about exploding diarrea and such, but it said the side effects would show up anytime in the next 12 to 48 hours, so that night when I served the family pizza I wasn't too concerned. And 12 hours later when nothing happened I was elated! I did it, I found the magic pill! Unfortunately, when the side effects showed up a good 48 hours later...well...let's just say it's a good thing I'm unemployed. And, I have plenty of things I can read while holed up in the bathroom...like the newspaper, or bible, or that fine print that came with my Alli bottle.

I lost a good friend in radio last week. His name was "big Dave" Niles, and although I hadn't talked to him in years, it says something about how special this man was that I was shocked, and devastated when I heard he had passed. It also prompted me to have "that discussion" with my family for what I wanted played at my funeral when I died...Old Rugged Cross, God knows when the sparrow falls, and Radar Love, by Golden Earring...

Radar Love was the song I played when I use to work for KRIB in Mason City, Iowa back in 85-87, when the cops were running radar in front of our studio...oh yeah, it was ok with the police, it was one of the cops that told me. They'd pull up outside the studio and tap on the door, I'd put the song on, and they'd run radar and some unsuspecting listener-with some other radio station on would cruise by, and bam!...another radar lover gone!!! Then the cop, as he handed out the ticket would tell the speeder "if you'd had KRIB on, you'd know we were running radar!"

Too much me time on the beach...

The only bad thing about being stranded on the beach this time of year is that i have too much ME time! Honestly, I've just spent the last, well, seven weeks with Me, and honestly, it's not all it's cracked up to be...for instance, I just gave up smoking and I'm seriously having a hard time, and do you think Me has been supportive...heck no! I'm sick to my stomach, frustrated, depressed, argumentative and all Me had to say was "you only gave it up 30 minutes ago, take a ambien and go to bed!" Unfortunately, it's not just Me I've had to deal with...my Gut had to jump into the action and Gut reminded me that there was still half a Reese's in the fridge...i kept waiting for Willpower to show up but he's across the street at the neighbors house...I'm guessing he's just not that into me!

On the plus side, all this "free time" has given "me" time to empty out 15 years of old radio logs, notes and celebrity trivia I've never been able to dispose of because i just might need it someday. Someday showed up occasionally, but, of course, I couldn't find it because it was buried under 15 years of paper. Yeah, paper kids...trust me, there were no flashdrives in 1995 and even if there were, odds are i would have lost it. Paper-on the other hand-lasts forever in a landfill unless you recycle it.

Which brings me to the added bonus of discovering long (and not so long) ago emails from some of my former bosses...now, keep in mind that I'm paraphrasing the notes to some extent to protect the innocent...ME!; Cindy, we're thrilled to have you work here and look forward to a long and prosperous time with you...(four months later)...Cindy, i'm very sorry to have to lay you off but I thought when corporate allowed me to hire you, we had enough money to keep you...would you like to work part-time for us, and when the economy gets better we can hire you back?...Cindy, you just don't have the sound we're looking for...what SOUND are we looking for?...not your sound...Yes, I know you're number one in your time slot but ratings aren't everything...Cindy, if you honestly think Michael Bolten is good what drugs are you on and where can I get some...Cindy, how many times do i have to tell you to please check the request list to see if the song is approved...even if the song IS approved it doesn't mean it's approved, check with me on all songs and if I don't get back to you on it, don't play it...just because it says request show doesn't mean it is...Cindy, I can't believe I heard you say douchebag on the air...do you even know what a douchebag is?"

The great thing about recycling is I can have the visual of it being turned into toilet paper and someone wiping their butt with it...after all, even douchebags need to wipe.

p.s... I saw the first bud of spring this morning...it was a Budweiser can sticking out of the snow next door and my neighbor yelling "hey Huber, get your beer can out of my yard!"

On the beach-Clean house

So i decided to do something productive with my time since i was blessed with all this free time, and because i simply couldn't tolerate one more minute of my husband asking "so what did YOU do today?"
(Answer: Everyone Loves Raymond, House Hunters International and Clean House...)
And maybe because the last show i watched before i hurried into the bedroom to change out of my pajamas before my husband came home WAS Clean House, i got this bright idea to clean my house...no really...it's a no brainer really. Every "on the beach jock" knows this drill, pull out all the station tee-shirts, sweatshirts and hoodies, wash them and then try to figure out who to give them too...it's a way of wiping the slate clean, start over, move ahead...it's part of the five stages of grieving;
1.Denial
2.Anger
3.Bargaining
4.Depression
5.Acceptance...although we in radio have our own special five stages we call the five stages of job loss;
1.Is this some kind of a joke?
2.Moron
3.Howabout if i promise never to say douchebag on the air again?
4.I'm never gonna find a job with free coffee again.
5.Look for new job/career
I'm now in the "looking for new career" part of a job loss...and it's more productive then the "never gonna find a job with free coffee again stage" I've been stuck in for a better part of a week. Then i moved on to the front room, packing up clothes and books, found the vacuum cleaner and then discovered a very unsettling fact about myself...I'm seriously one item away from appearing in a reality show about pack-rat interventions.

On the bright side, i can take my smoke break whenever i want.

On the beach...again...update

Hi again...been on the beach for the last three weeks (on the beach-code for unemployed jock) and let me tell you how enlightening this has been to me. For starters I've been to Iowa and seen my parents and it was wonderful. I've spent the last ten years asking God for more time with my folks and He answered my prayers. We fed the ducks, looked at the deers, and watched Murder She Wrote; seasons one, two AND three...one hint...the old lady didn't do it.

I'm back in Milwaukee now, just in time for the snow storm...and just time enough for the kids to get sick of me. For starters, there's a weird smell coming out of my son's room, but I'm afraid to go in without dropping breadcrumbs to find my way out. I've told the boys for years not to leave food in their bedrooms or it'll turn to mold so that smell better be a dead body or they'll be in trouble!

And I've been trying to quit smoking...really trying...or at least throw off the family by hiding it better...we have a dog that won't do it's duty unless it's hooked to a leash and paraded up and down the neighborhood. In the past I've had to spell the words "leash, and walk, and outside"...just recently though, since I've been on the beach, I've had to spell a new word...cigarettes...as in "just a second doggie, where are my cigs." It's amazing how quick a dog can pick up a word you don't want him to understand, just like kids. The only problem now is, the dog's on to me. The other day I was ignoring him because I had already taken him out 5 times and darn it, the Real Housewives of Orange County were on. The little demon went over to my coat, pulled it off the hook, and fished my cigarettes out. A few minutes later when I went to check on the dog-since he had suddenly become so quiet-I found my seven dollar pack of cool, refreshing Camel #9's tore up all over the back room...my husband, accessing the situation, felt the dog was only trying to send me a message on how bad smoking is on my health. I looked into my devil dog's eyes and I got his message alright!

It's gonna be a long winter on the beach.

On the beach...again

So, a funny thing happened on the way to work yesterday...

Um, there's no easy way to get laid off...no matter how nice they are about it, it's still a loss, a breakup, a "it's not you, it's the budget..."

Worse, i was sitting on the couch when my son came home from college and i didn't even have to say a word, i could see it on his face..."oh no, i'm not gonna be able to borrow money from mom...again."
My daughter took it harder, unknown to me she posted my loss on her facebook page so last night when i was wandering around Barnes and Noble one of her friends parents came up to me and said "we hear you lost your job."

I didn't lose my job...i know exactly where it is...it's in the last place i left it...it's just that it's not mine anymore although i have every intention of continuing my 3p-7p show coming soon to a McDonalds near you. And as an extra benefit i will supersize your fries for you...free, just don't tell my boss.

Three summers ago i was working in the basement of a local corporation for a temp agency calling up factory managers to tell them that a piece of equipment they had, well, let me read from the script..."Sir, the problem is the wire is terminated incorrectly on the heat trace wire." Now i didn't know what the heck i was saying but the guy on the other end would get really excited...especially the guy working at the chemical plant...one day in the middle of all this fun i was checking my emails-ON MY BREAK-wasn't misusing company time-when i got an email from Stan Atkinson asking me if i was interested in an interview...Was i?...Was i ever! Granted, it would be hard to leave my job at the temp agency (they had an ice cream VENDING machine-how cool was that!) But then Stan pointed out that they had an expresso machine...and it was free...and i have spent the last almost two and a half years being extremely grateful for this job, and free expresso!

I love B93.3fm, and quite honestly i'm excited for Jane and CV's show, i really am. Jane Matenear has been a true and dear friend of mine since 1996 and i would trust her with my life...although hopefully that will never be an issue.

I know this sounds so cliche typing this and yet it's true...i have made lifelong friends at MRA (and i hope they remember me when i call and ask them for a loan.)

Now i have to turn my attention to more pressing issues like "why hasn't Starbucks called me back."

Love,

Cindy

Lily the bear

It's not that you need another reason to log on to the internet, but i'm hooked on a new site called bear.org...someone had the bright idea to stick a camera in a bear den with the thought that maybe a bear might wander by and hibernate, and by God-that's EXACTLY what happened! Even better, Lily had a bear cub Friday afternoon, and since then i've been hooked to the site...it's a live camera 24-7 (with sound!)which means, last night, 3 am, i wake up, can't get back to sleep, let's check on Lily...an hour later my husband wakes up and goes "what in the heck are you doing, are you kidding me?! This is what you've been doing all night?!"

But there's something comforting about watching Lily comforting and cuddling her baby tucked away in a den in Ely, Minnesota while the snow flies that makes the uncertainty of surviving another day, another dollar, another job, "bearable."

(ps...you can check out the site yourself, www.bear.org and once there click on Lily live cam-on the left of the site.)

My Bra for the Cause...

Introducing, the Ginny Electric Boa Bra!

Dedicated to the memory of my bff's Nancy and Sue's sister Ginny who passed away after a nine month battle with breast cancer. Ginny had a huge heart and had a electric personality so i attached a heart, and of course lights...which really was hard to do.

I tried to string battery operated Christmas lights but they kept shorting out on the bra...as God is my witness if i ever design another bra it won't be a padded one! But i was extremely blessed to be working with an awesome engineer by the name of John Church who saudered in some special lights just for the bra, and then, yes, they shorted out too...the problem was the wires kept touching so my husband came up with a plan, that included a glue gun...he worked it so the wires no longer touched and so the Ginny Electric truly is electric!

Welcome back Texans...

My Texan cousin Mark posted this picture of a sign he took while strolling across the border into Mexico...Margaritas AND free parking?! We live in the wrong place!

Bras for a Cause

Bras for a Cause, as if bras didn't have enough to do, this year B93.3 fm needs your help to create a bra, and bring attention to the awesome group ABCD-after breast cancer diagnosis-the group the late Melodie Wilson created after she was diagnosed with breast cancer.

What ABCD does is after someone (MALE or female) is diagnosed with breast cancer, they match them up with someone who has been through what they've been through; someone who has walked the walk to support someone who is just beginning their journey.

Our Julie Davidson is going to be one of the judges, and i'm going to do my breast, opps, best, to create a bra in the memory of my bff's sister Ginny, who passed away in 1997 after a 9 month battle with breast cancer. So think something with a feather boa and lights...really, lights...i'm looking for battery operated lights that i'm going to somehow magically attach to the bra because i don't know how to sew, but i've watched several episodes of Project Runway to get psyched up and honestly how hard could this be?

ps...So far i've invented a bra that you have to stand next to an electrical outlet to wear.

Resolutions-2010

This year i resolve to lose weight, give up smoking for good, and try to wear grown up clothes instead of the jeans and tee-shirts that has been my uniform for the last 20 years.

2010 is really gonna suck!

Christmas 2009-part 2

(My cousin Mardi, me, my brother Paul circa 1960-something...check out the 50 inch plasma screen tv in the background...)

My favorite Christmas memory involves my dad's layoff back in the 70's and my mom's sad "sorry kids, no presents for Christmas this year." And it's one of my favorite Christmas memories...go figure!

But here's the deal, my mom said we could vote on what we wanted for dinner and...well, we were kids, screw ham, we voted pizza, AND I had my entire family together that night-something that hasn't happened in almost 7 years since half my family isn't talking to the other half-and the night was so special, that the next year, when my dad had a new job, we didn't do presents, and a new tradition was born...the Christmas pizza...of course when i told my kids about my favorite Christmas memories they got all weirded out and wanted to know if i had gotten laid off!

Christmas 2009-Return of the family

(The Huber family circa 1960-something...i'm the little girl on the left being held by my uncle, my parents are on the right.)

Everytime i need a good cry at Christmas time i throw on a Karen Carpenter Christmas tune...doesn't even matter which one, they all make me tear up...there's just something about her voice, so sad, so weary, so..."i don't have the one i love near me" tremble in her voice, even sleigh ride can get my tear ducts going...because i can just imagine her thinking, "i'm in this one horse open sleigh without the one i love, and geez it's cold!"

I live about six and a half hours from my parents, and about 4 plane hours (if you go Southwest, six if you do what use to be Midwest) from my mother-in-law and Christmas is always a reminder of that because they all claim it's too far to travel to my house for a ham dinner...but this year was different, we (hubby and I) were able to guilt my mother-in-law to fly here for Christmas (big, BIG mistake), because Milwaukee is NOT San Diego and it's not 60 degrees here at Christmas time. Nope, not even close. But mom flew here (God bless her) and paid the price, snow storms, rain, indigestion, and loud, LOUD grandkids (because they were old enough to drink) and LOUD great-grandkids, (who weren't old enough to drink) and me...old enough to drink, and darn-it, it's my house AND MY eggnog!...And so the noise, and the nerves merged together on this, the most holy of holidays, and all i could hear through the din was my blessed and very loving mother-in-law (to me) "i hear the alcohol talking!" Which was a blessing, because if it had been ME talking, it could have been brutal...none the less, it was a great day with the fam-dam-ly and next year i'm asking Santa for a big box filled with valium under the tree!

Snowmaggeadon, part 2

Didn't have to sleep overnight at the station, the boss made a deal with the Hilton down the road so i slid (literally) down the road to the Hilton at Park Place. And it was beautiful, puffed up pillows, sinfully comfortable bed, pool, hot tub, sauna, and me with no bathing suit. And no family. So it's 9pm in a beautiful hotel room with cable when i discover a very uncomfortable fact about myself, i'm boring, and i bore me! Oh wait, i have one ambien. Problem solved!

Snowmaggeadon 2009

My car, one hour ago.

Oh yeah, i'm ready for winter now. I'm no fool, i know how nasty the weather can be, plus one year i was snowed in at a radio station...actually, i lived close enough to walk home if i was desperate enough but nobody else could get in, so in the days of 24 hour live dj's i was on the air...for 18 hours. I was so exhausted, that when i did finally get off the air and go home, i couldn't sleep!

Today, i'm ready. I have a box in my trunk that contains all my winter necessities just in case i'm snowed in at work; Pillow, blanket, box of honeydip donuts, and ambien...you can never be too careful!

Defiant!

It's 51 degrees on December 1st and my beautiful iris decided to bloom! Take that mother nature!!

Long after my mums have called it a season my bearded blue iris has stuck it's neck out against the approaching winter.
DEFIANT!
I need to be more like my iris.

Happy Thanksgiving 2009!

Happy Thanksgiving to you! I was just thinking how much i have to be thankful for...my dad's colon cancer has been in remission now for about 4 years and i'm so grateful for that. Sure, there's a little less money in the pocket then in previous years, but the bills are getting paid, my husband, kids (and grandkids are healthy) and honestly, you can't put a price on that...i mean, literally...3 years ago i was rushed to the hospital with pain so severe i thought for sure i was having a heart attack. Once in the emergency room-loaded up on morphine, i overheard my doctor talking to someone about a blood clot and how they might die. I'm thinking to myself "poor sucker, i hope they make it" until i realized it was me he was referring too...at that moment my life became crystal clear, i wasn't worried about my job or lack of fame or how broke i thought i was...my thoughts were for my husband and family and how much i loved them. Thankfully it was a misdiagnosis (although i'll be paying on that bill for the rest of my life), but from that point life became easier because i stopped sweating the small stuff (well, except for that 10 pounds i really need to lose)...it's about my family and i'm thankful this year.

And now, for the Bill Nicholson Krispy Kreme doughnut butter rum pudding!!! (As seen on the Paula Deen show)

Ingredients
2 dozen Krispy Kreme donuts
1 (14-ounce) can sweetened condensed milk (not evaporated-you use evaporated for fudge-and this ain't fudge)
2 (4.5-ounce) cans fruit cocktail (undrained)
2 eggs, beaten
1 (9-ounce) box raisins (i don't know about you but i always skip them)1 pinch salt
1 or 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
Butter Rum Sauce, recipe follows
Directions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Cube donuts into a large bowl. Pour other ingredients on top of donuts and let soak for a few minutes. Mix all ingredients together until donuts have soaked up the liquid as much as possible.

Bake for about 1 hour until center has jelled. Top with Butter Rum Sauce.

Butter Rum Sauce:

1 stick butter

1 pound box confectioners' sugar

(lot's of) Rum, to taste

Melt butter and slowly stir in confectioners' sugar. Add rum and heat until bubbly. Pour over each serving of Krispy Kreme Bread Pudding.


Oh, how many calories...you don't want to know.

ps...if you don't have time to put the Krispy Kreme pudding together, do what i do...buy some Malibu Rum, put that in with the hot chocolate, slightly nuke the Krispy Kremes...eat...repeat. ; )

God bless our Veterans!

I just want to thank our veterans for their sacrifice, although a simple thanks does not seem enough.
This is my favorite picture of my stepson Mark taken Christmas, 2007. His dad, mom, stepdad and I are very proud of him.

It seems like a lifetime ago that Mark was in the play Music Man in high school, singing and dancing but we always knew his desire to be a MARINE. There was never any doubt on his part. It was something he was born to do.

Mark has been to Iraq twice and will be heading to Afganistan in February, but we have never heard him complain. This is the job he signed up to do, to serve our country as a marine, and we love him very much.

May God bless all our veteran today, and everyday.

Why i don't go to Haunted Houses

My teenagers are always asking me why i don't go to haunted houses, but honestly, when you work at a haunted radio station, why would you...i don't like to mix business with pleasure! I just wish the owners hadn't built the station on a haunted ancient indian burial site!

This tree is a few blocks from where i live and i like to take my grandkids by there, they get a kick out of it...there's no halloween candy at my house as my daughter was too sick to go trick or treating this year (swine flu-really, not a joke), so when i get off of work tonite i'm gonna have to go home and shake down the grandkids!

The night the remote broke

Two hours and 43 minutes ago Jim and Pam from the television show THE OFFICE got married. Two hours and 44 minutes ago i asked my husband to turn the channel from Channel 3 to Channel 4. It should have been real simple, but rarely is anything in life simple.

So here's what happened. My husband bought a 50 inch plasma television that has high def (whatever that means) and my husband was indeed watching the ballgame on "channel 3" but it wasn't TBS channel 3, it was the TBS in the HIGH DEF channel....with me so far? The problem was that he didn't know what the NBC channel was in high def so he started flicking through the channels...i saw 8pm come and i saw 8pm go because my husband INSISTED that i must watch the HIGH DEF channel when ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS WATCH JIM AND PAM OF THE OFFICE GET MARRIED! (oh wait, i was yelling...sorry)
Now i know what you were thinking, why didn't we just hit the guide part of the remote, but that was, um, accidently broken last week when when i flung it against a wall because once again the remote didn't work...turns out the batteries died, (which was a whole nuther problem as the kids keep substituting their worn out batteries from their ipods into the clicker and taking the good ones out)....and it was a bad week, and i had just given up smoking for the hundreth time, and if you can think of another good reason please let me know...

So what happened next is the channel got stuck on some animal fishing show...in high def...and i finally resisted the urge to bang my head against the wall, and ended up taking the dog out for a walk. As i was walking by my 84 year old neighbors house, i noticed her tv was on and stuck my head in the window to see watch channel was on...she turned and noticed me and started screaming but thankfully recognized me and didn't call the police on me as that would have been a bummer...(hey boss, the reason i won't be in work tomorrow...).
So my neighbor, being the kind of wonderful soul she is, turned from Channel 5 Survivor to Channel 4 The Office and i was able to watch the last 30 minutes of the show on a 19 inch color tv...wasn't sure if it was in high def but sincerely doubt it...some of the humor was not her style but i made up for it offering to walk her dog tomorrow morning.

When i got back home my husband was watching some baseball game...in high def.

Why Tamper with Perfection?

I got an email from a friend of mine (Tom Greco) yesterday who went on and on about how awesome the remastered Beatles cd sounds "sharp, no background noise."

I don't get this fascination with "if it ain't broke, let's fix it...NEW Coke anyone(?), KFC's new grilled chicken...excuse me, you already have Original and extra crispy...could this have been the same dude that said "bacon taste good, but lets see how it tastes slathered in chocolate on a stick?" (oh wait, that WAS a good idea)

Why tamper with perfection? Who was the dude that was listening to Sgt. Pepper and thought, yeah, this is ok but how about making it sharper, ...well, it's like taking a song by Karen Carpenter (one of the world's most beautiful and soothing voices)and throwing Mariah Carey high notes to it...sooooo not necessary!

Really, if your listening to the Beatles Long and winding road and thinking this is ok, but let's add technology, you've missed the point!

FREE Family Fun at Flabbergast Saturday...A Recap

I want to thank all of you who stopped out and said hi to me at Flabbergast last weekend in Sussex...

This is my friend Reyne who actually challenged me last year in the LA Weight loss Challenge, and she has actually kept ALL her weight off! We are busy petting a 69 pound Belgian Malinois from Holland that the Waukesha County Sheriff Department uses instead of German Shepard's. (Oh, the reason, because the dogs are healthier and live longer then the Shepard's, and they've cut their vet bills in half) Bronco the dog was extremely friendly but the sheriff had to keep telling me to keep my face away from his (i kept trying to hug him...apparently the dogs have a thing about people putting their face in "their face")


This is my friend Tracy who is a teacher at Early Momentum Childcare which is right next to Flabbergast. I met her a couple of years ago when i was in between radio gigs and we both worked as temps in the basement of Bradley Corporation. She is the one who taught me that "desktop" in a computer is not the same as "boy, my desktop is a mess!" She is awesome and it was great to catch up with her and her little boy Sebastian!


I LOVE the bouncy castle!!!!


While we were at Flabbergast the fine students from HEAT (cheer leading school) assured me they could teach me how to do a somersault.


I believe they were overly optimistic.
If your kids drive you crazy on the weekends, bring them out to Flabbergast in Sussex.
You can also tour Momentum Early Learning which is located right next to Flabbergast at W248 N5250 Executive Drive in Sussex.

Not my kid's BFF

I was finally coerced by one of our B93.3FM sales accountants to join the rest of civilization yesterday on Facebook and OMG, there's an incredible number of you who do nothing but hangout on there and i know that because NOW I'm hanging out there too...when i wake up in the middle of the night facebook is always there...waiting for me to log on and an hour later i'm still on!!! Plus, i suck at Mafia wars, and honestly, i don't need another bouquet of flowers for my farm in Farmville...although if you have an extra sheep...

The problem with facebook was the same problem i had with myspace, linkled or whatever it's called and all the other web pages clamoring for my attention...i don't have any free extra time to read up on anyone else cuz there's just too many good shows on tv! Which brings me to another problem with facebook...my kids...i sent both of them a request to be their facebrook "friend" and i noticed this morning that my request is still pending and neither one has said anything about it...you don't think they're ignoring me do you?

Ps...oh wait, i have a friend request...uh oh, it's my boss...hmmmm....ignore...hey, you can't be friends with everyone!

Cindy at the State Fair 2009

Just to put an end to the "we're all the same person" rumors (which i believe our boss Stan started), this would be me, Julie, and CV hanging out at the Fair in one of those rare times that we're all up at the same time!



Isn't this little girl a sweetie?! She told her mom she wanted to meet me.


I was hoping i'd run into Roz, she of the "if you get your fingers to close to her hat it'll bite you(!) fame"... And for the record, i needed two stitches! ; )

I LOVE RONNIE NYLES! I've known her since we were starving artist in Green Bay, and what the heck, i'm still starving. Ronnie has won several best artist WAMI's and is one of the most incredible singers i've ever heard! Her partner Tina is an incredible artist as well and is one of the best hairstylists in Milwaukee and both have been incredible friends of mine and i was honored they stopped by to say hi.

I know you hear her on the air all the time, this is Karen Fox with her beautiful family and her husband whom i use to listen all the time to, before i started my shift at the same time, JJ from the Brew...i really miss him on the air.

I am the very proud "bonus" grandma to my grandson Aaron, granddaughter Lily, my stepdaughter Karen and her friend. Let me assure you, it's really a lot of fun when they're your grandkids!

One of my absolute favorite place to visit at the Fair this year (other then the Cream Puffs, chocolate bacon and baby animals barn) was the Loreal Tent where they had experts to help you and FREE MAKEUP MAKE OVERS!
This is my beauty consultant Yvette who was a sweetie, and worked very hard to give me the perfect look!
It's a pity i won't look this good until they come back and do it again next year!


Thanks Yvette...you made me look awesome, it's a pity i don't remember how you did it!
The solution to bad hair days at the Fair!

Also, you can't overeat with the Bee head on...you can't breather either!

Too old for the room

A friend asked me why i don't do comedy anymore. That is a true friend. She's also a friend that has never seen me get up on stage and literally suck wind out of a place. I didn't even rate a heckle from the room, although the last time i got up on a comedy stage it was for a Nickelodeon funniest mom in America contest so perhaps the audience was too polite.

It was at Zanies in Chicago and for the first time ever, i didn't have to be first. (Even at Comedy graduation class-"Cindy, you go out first and warm them up"...riiiight...) Maybe that was my problem. I've always been the first one out so in the past whenever someone asked me, "how'd you do" i'd say i was great but my audience was too sober and whoever had asked would say "riiiiiight." But this time I was number 8 or 9, and here was my chance. My audience had had a few drinks and were warmed up so off on stage i went with my little yellow postnotes of solid gold nuggets written up with past experiences tweaked with my comic insights.

"Hello there, i'm Cindy Huber from Milwaukee, Wisconsin and my family thinks i have a problem with road rage. Yesterday when my daughter was in the car with me she asked me "why are you always flipping people off, i told her cuz mommy doesn't have a gun!"

That got a huge laugh but would you expect anything less from Illinois? Then i launched into a sweet but funny phone call i had made to my 98 year old grandma and the room went quiet. Deathly quiet. Except for the sound of crickets which at the time i thought was weird because here i am in downtown Chicago and it was November so how did the crickets get in here? Never had three minutes gone by so slowly (for me-so i could only imagine how the audience felt). Jokes that had worked on stage in Appleton only a year before were crashing and burning all over the place and i could smell the sulfer, and hear the crickets. The next "mommy" comic got up and told three minutes of kid fart jokes and the audience was applauding and screaming for more. I kept thinking "am i the only German in the audience who hates fart jokes"...i cringe whenever i hear Jessica Simpson say she toots in bed). But what do i know, that mommy got a call back. And my grandma died 3 days later, and with her, some of my best material.

So a couple of days ago i'm in the studio's backlot recovering from my radio show, and listening to the kids from promotions (alright, they're all in their twenties so technically they're not kids) but then again they are playing foursquare, burning off the excess energy that comes with being young with a healthy immune system but they're also shouting out categories, and if you can't keep up with the flow your out. So i thought "easy enough" and joined the fun. The subject was beer, when the ball came my way i shouted "zima" but apparently, Zima is not a malt liquor and so does not qualify. And i was out. Then the "kids" went on for 20 more minutes on beer and i didn't honestly know there was that much beer and that's big coming from someone who was once a country-western dj! But i'm no quitter, so when they paused i jumped into the game again and rattled off the next subject. Menopause. "Mood swings!" I won.

Sara's burial garden plot

Well, first i have to tell you, this was not a burial plot. It was suppose to be a vegetable garden!



Last year my daughter cleared a spot in the backyard, and we had the greatest garden! Even the bunnies liked it, but for the most part, all the tomatoes survived and it was great. This year my daughter expanded the spot until it unfortunately resembled...a plot. Or as my husband called it, "a baby burial plot." But that was because we hadn't put the vegetables in yet, we were waiting for payday to do it. In the meanwhile my neighbor found another dead robin in her yard. It was the second one to fall out of the tree with no other signs of trauma. She was quite disturbed and i asked my husband (a mortician) if he would go over and get rid of it for her (since death is normally no big deal for him). The last thing i told him was "whatever you do, don't throw the bird in Sara's garden burial plot."

So guess where he buried the bird?

You got it...Sara's garden burial plot!
And my daughter is IRATE.

But wait, it gets better!

In the meantime, my neighbor saw something in the paper that said if you have more then one robin die mysteriously, you have to call the DNR. Which she did. And then she told me what they said.

They said, we have to go out, dig out the robin from the "burial plot" and wrap it in a double baggie, and put it in our freezer til they can come get it and check it out to make sure it doesn't have the West Nile virus or something.

I'm calling my husband right now. You don't think i'm going out there to dig it up do you?

Next years garden...this year

I have always dreamed of a garden in which the impatiens and begonias were color coordinated and the weeds thinned themselves. I have always thought myself "a gardener" but my husband says that's too strong a word. He says I'm more like a four year old someone gave a hand grenade to and told to go crazy-without the bloodshed.

Every spring i start the season vowing this is going to be the best year ever! I start out at Kmart (because they have the cheapest prices in my area) with about 40 dollars of dreams and stamina. I say stamina because after i get home with all my impatiens and geraniums and waxed begonias, it suddenly dawns on me "whose gonna plant all this crap?"

Pictured above is last years "next years garden project." What you see is my neighbors crappy fence and about 40 bucks of Publishers Clearing house irises and glads (10 dollars a month in 4 monthly installments!) which i planted in remembrance of my grandmother and uncle. (Actually i planted a cherry tree in honor of my grandmother but the rabbits ate it.) They've (bunnies) left the iris and glads alone. Shortly after i took this picture the lavender my neighbor gave me bloomed. You can't really see this because it's hunched over as the bunnies have been chomping on it, but the smell is absolutely intoxicating!


Everything in this picture (above) was donated years ago. The hosta's, the snow on the mountain, and the bush on the right. I have no idea what that bush is called, my neighbor Violet didn't want it, and so i went over and dug it up. Also pictured is the phlox before they bloomed. They're the tall plants to the right of the hosta's and next to the bush.


I LOVE pansy's but they break my heart every year. They look beautiful until July 4th, you don't even have to look at the calender, July 4th they still look great but i swear to God the very next day, July 5th, they bend over and die, they can't take the heat. It doesn't stop me from planting them, I mean what else can you plant in March that will survive the early spring frost?! The pansy's are the yellow and blue in the background. They looked incredible this past May but you can already see them fading.


I should have suspected something when a fellow coworker gave me a small paper bag with an innocent looking little "weed" and told me "just be careful where i plant it." I should have said "why?" I didn't and as you can see, this little "perennial" is taking over the entire yard and running over everything in it's path. I've spent three years trying to dig it up and it's spent all three years going "up yours" and re rooting itself all over my other hosta's and perennials. I recently went to a garden store and saw they were selling this "plant" for six bucks for a three pound bucket. You are welcome to come dig mine up for FREE! I'll even provide you a shovel.

Life in 46 seconds

There's a sad story out of Oklahoma City involving a Desert Storm veteran who worked as a pharmacist in a crime ridden section of the city, and an unarmed 16 year old who made the fatal mistake of helping his 14 year old friend with a robbery one week ago today. Except, neither boy expected the pharmacist to have a gun. The entire botched scheme was caught on video, and the robbery, from start to death took only 46 seconds.
In the first 10 seconds the armed 14 year old, and his unarmed friend enter the pharmacy, with the 14 year old waving the gun as his 16 year old friend struggles to put his mask on. In the next few seconds all hell breaks lose as the 16 year old jerks to the right of the video and falls to the ground while the 14 year old runs out of the store. The Desert Storm veteran is seen holding a gun and chasing (and firing) two more shots at the 14 year old. The pharmacist then returns and after checking on his two female employees, returns to the injured 16 year old and fires FIVE more shots into his stomach, killing him. The entire scene plays out in about 46 seconds on video. The police filed murder charges against the pharmacist after viewing the video.

You occasionally hear about these stories in the news, thief killed by store clerk in robbery attempt but maybe it's because after several years of living in Milwaukee I thought I was immune to the stories, until I saw this bad decision by a couple of teens play out on video, in only 46 seconds.

You have to wonder how long the teens planned for this, a couple of days, a week(?), did they single out this particular pharmacy or was it just opportunity, and a gun? And just how did the 14 year old get the gun, or did he steal it, did the boys flip a coin to decide who would hold the gun, or did the 14 year old have to talk the older teen into helping with the robbery, which I suspect could have been the case after watching the 16 year old struggle to put his mask on while his friend waved the gun. You have to wonder on watching this if it ever crossed their mind that maybe something could go wrong, or were they too focused on what they could buy with all their easy money. Did they ever once consider how easy it would be to die, in only 46 seconds.

Tonight, it's one week later and the 16 year old is in the ground while his 14 year old friend is behind bars, and a disabled Desert Storm veteran with a legally concealed weapon is facing murder charges, thanks to a bad decision played out in life, in only 46 seconds.

Being Stalked by Swine Flu

With all the tv coverage on the latest "soon to be" health disaster swine flu, it almost appears the swine's are getting even with us for our love of sausage. So the next time you open that package of bacon, make sure you look over your shoulder because...

Oh wait. It's a flu, that started with swine? Wow, i've always heard that pigs were smart, and now they've found a way to wipe us humans out with...

Look, i'm not trying to be funny, (oh wait, yes i am!) but my lack of humor is beside the point. Yes, people in Mexico have died from swine flu. People in Wisconsin die from drunken drivers. Maybe it's the fear of being struck down by something you can't see, much like any of those horror movies that have Jason in them, where you just know you shouldn't spend the night in that abandened summer camphouse, but you just can't help it...although in this case it's the flu, and it's hiding out in a beach near Cancun...well that explains the recent swine flu case involving drunken college students...i presume they had plenty to drink but you know what, maybe they were all sipping tea...no wait, they were college kids in Cancun! Are you sure they weren't drinking the water?

I can remember the hysteria over Aids in the 80's...Oh my goodness, beware of gay men! Oh wait, it's a virus...it affects the immune system. You don't have to be gay to get it. It's viral opportunity, let your guard down, let your immune system suffer, and one of many hundreds of thousands of viruses just waiting for their chance will pounce.

So don't eat meat, stomach cancer, don't go out in the sun, skin cancer, don't fly in airplanes, terrorists. Do like i'm planning to do, lay in a fetal position on the couch with a glass of red wine and the weather channel on the tube...til the husband stops paying the cable bill (or i run out of red wine) and i'm forced to go back to work.

My grandmother Reba Davison, who was a nurse and spent her life in the health industry survived the great flu epidemic of 1917-1918 and i asked her if she was ever scared. "No," she said, "i just washed my hands, washed my hands." And honestly, that's the best way to prevent most flu's, cold's, noroviruses, and um...colds, wait, i said that already.

So tonite, wash your hands, wash your hands, turn off the news, and enjoy the sunset...now where's my red wine?