Pages

Friday, May 06, 2011

Top 5 Teenager Names

There's a new list out of popular baby names by the people who put of lists of every things...this year, the top 5 baby boy names are from number 5 to number 1; William, Jayden, Michael, Ethan, and Jacob...same order with top baby girls names; Ava, Olivia, Emma, Sophia, and Isabella at number one...

But something strange happens when those cute little babies become teenagers...you can't call those same names you named them at birth because they don't answer you...which is why, once your babies hit their teen years, it's simply easier to rename them...which I did, and here, from number 5 to number 1...

My TOP 5 TEENAGER NAMES

5. Stop Texting and Look at Me when I'm Talking to you!
4. Don't Give me that look!
3. No, you can't!
2. You're grounded!

And drum roll please....

1. Got a job yet?



Happy Mother's Day MOM!!!
Love ya,
Cindy

Thursday, May 05, 2011

Old dogs, children and watermellon wine

My mom called me with the saddest news last week...my grandma's dog Vicki 2 (yes, there was a Vicki 1, thanks for asking)-who has been living with my parents since my grandma died in 2006, had collapsed in the front room on a Wednesday night and couldn't get up...Vicki 2 was in pain, whining and struggling, and my mom (who has congestive heart failure) was unable to help her...

It was just, how do I say this, the call from hell, my mom was crying, I was crying...this being a small Iowan town, there was no overnight emergency pet hospital, so my mom-bless her-gave Vicki 2 a half of her pain pill...believe it or not, a half hour later, Vicki 2 dragged herself outdoors to do her business and back in (think about that; the dog had to go but refused to wet in the house-how's that for dog of the year?)...but the decision was made, Vicki was unable to lift herself up without help and it was time to broil a T-bone steak for her last supper...yeah, that's how we prepare our pets for their last night on earth, and because my parents have half a cow in their freezer...as you do, in Iowa...Vicki was 3 quarters of her way to the pearly gates...

A little history on this dog; my grandma didn't want another dog after the first Vicki died (of diabetes...she was a 30 pound chihuahua which grandma inadvertently overfed with people food, and in Vicki's final years my grandma-a former nurse-had to give her dog insulin shots to keep her alive.) But a couple of months later my mom heard of a young chow whose snout was apparently used to put out cigarettes (the fur still has never grown back), and my grandma grumbled that she was too old (at 92) to be taking in another dog...but when Vicki settled down on her lap and fixed grandma with her round little "please take me home and I will love you always" eyes...Score: Dog won, Grandma 1 dog...so for the last five years of grandma's life, Vicki 2 was her security system both in love and companionship...grandma wouldn't let my children-- and me sit on certain chairs in her house, but was cheerfully oblivious to the dog chewing holes into the wood and fabric...I didn't comment on any of that, the dog was loved, my grandma was happy...win-win for everyone...In grandma's final months, she worried what would happen to Vicki as her inevitable was approaching...I offered to take Vick-she was an especially loving pet...but after my grandma died there was no way my mom would give up Vicki, and So Vicki has spent the last 5 years being over loved, and overfed, and just like the Vicki 1, a myriad health problems thanks to a life filled with Iams dog food, doggy treats, and grilled cheese sandwiches.

That Thursday morning I wore my biggest sun glasses for the drive to work so I could sob in the car without worrying about people staring at me. I stayed in my studio all day, I didn't want to try to explain my teary red eyes and later, with a headache from hell, called my mom to ask how it went down for Vicki 2...

"Oh she's fine," said my mom, "the doctor gave her some steroids and she's actually moving around and wagging her tail."

I had a glass of wine, took a couple of Excedrin Migraine's and went to bed.