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Monday, March 08, 2010

Too much me time on the beach...

The only bad thing about being stranded on the beach this time of year is that i have too much ME time! Honestly, I've just spent the last, well, seven weeks with Me, and honestly, it's not all it's cracked up to be...for instance, I just gave up smoking and I'm seriously having a hard time, and do you think Me has been supportive...heck no! I'm sick to my stomach, frustrated, depressed, argumentative and all Me had to say was "you only gave it up 30 minutes ago, take a ambien and go to bed!" Unfortunately, it's not just Me I've had to deal with...my Gut had to jump into the action and Gut reminded me that there was still half a Reese's in the fridge...i kept waiting for Willpower to show up but he's across the street at the neighbors house...I'm guessing he's just not that into me!

On the plus side, all this "free time" has given "me" time to empty out 15 years of old radio logs, notes and celebrity trivia I've never been able to dispose of because i just might need it someday. Someday showed up occasionally, but, of course, I couldn't find it because it was buried under 15 years of paper. Yeah, paper kids...trust me, there were no flashdrives in 1995 and even if there were, odds are i would have lost it. Paper-on the other hand-lasts forever in a landfill unless you recycle it.

Which brings me to the added bonus of discovering long (and not so long) ago emails from some of my former bosses...now, keep in mind that I'm paraphrasing the notes to some extent to protect the innocent...ME!; Cindy, we're thrilled to have you work here and look forward to a long and prosperous time with you...(four months later)...Cindy, i'm very sorry to have to lay you off but I thought when corporate allowed me to hire you, we had enough money to keep you...would you like to work part-time for us, and when the economy gets better we can hire you back?...Cindy, you just don't have the sound we're looking for...what SOUND are we looking for?...not your sound...Yes, I know you're number one in your time slot but ratings aren't everything...Cindy, if you honestly think Michael Bolten is good what drugs are you on and where can I get some...Cindy, how many times do i have to tell you to please check the request list to see if the song is approved...even if the song IS approved it doesn't mean it's approved, check with me on all songs and if I don't get back to you on it, don't play it...just because it says request show doesn't mean it is...Cindy, I can't believe I heard you say douchebag on the air...do you even know what a douchebag is?"

The great thing about recycling is I can have the visual of it being turned into toilet paper and someone wiping their butt with it...after all, even douchebags need to wipe.


p.s... I saw the first bud of spring this morning...it was a Budweiser can sticking out of the snow next door and my neighbor yelling "hey Huber, get your beer can out of my yard!"