My girlfriend Sue is in big trouble. She's been fighting cancer since April and up until this week, we thought she was going to beat it. Today, we're not so sure. This comes as a complete shock to her friends and family, all who know Sue to be a fighter and a winner. When I first found out she had this cancer (via her facebook entry), I wasn't worried at all because she had already beaten cancer once before, and that was seven years ago. Plus, maybe it's the way she broke the news..."hey everyone I'm going to lose weight..."
Sue's a chef who had her own catering business "Let's Dish (ttp://www.lets-dish.com/)." I say "had" because her family recently contacted her clients to tell them that she was in rough shape.
Sue is the kind of friend...how do I put this...tough, tender, sweet, sassy, strong, demanding, hardcore left of left Democrat, incredibly loyal and funnier then heck...OK, hell...yeah, that's Sue. If I had even half of Sue's personality, I'd be incredibly rich and famous with a couple of Oscars under my belt. You see, Sue's the kind of person that didn't sit around and wish...she just...did. Want to live in Chicago next to Wrigley field? She did. Want to take cooking lessons in France, Sue did. Want to drive through the Alps, Sue did, although she told me she was so scared she promised God if she survived she would go back to church...she did, at Christmas time.
Seven years ago she beat sarcoma, although the radiation and chemo she got was so strong she was warned that she could possibly develop leukemia, although the chances were rare. When I saw her at her sister's 50th this past February, she was telling me that the doctors told her she was cured because it was over seven years. She was the picture of health, she had broiled several (over 30 at least) of filet mignons with a delicious dipping sauce and a ton of other stuff that she had prepared. (This was not unusual for Sue, who not only catered her sister's wedding, but her own as well!) Then April...now this. Her sister emailed me today to tell me that things are bad, her blood pressure and lung capacity is dropping, and the doctors have called a family conference for tomorrow to "make some decisions."
Everything is reminding of Sue today. Tonight, I saw a flock of geese heading south, and then another goose (solo)heading North and I teared up. I played Vince Gill's "Go Rest High on that Mountain" and darn near lost it on the air. Last Thursday I took part in an amazing prayer group...Sue's sister Sandie asked everyone to pray for Sue at exactly 10:30pm...and I truly felt God's presence, and I knew for sure Sue would be cured. Well...that didn't happen. I'm at a loss, because I know God heard us...
Earlier this year I read Alannah Hamilton's book about Farrah Fawcett's fight against her cancer, and about something Ryan O'Neal said when Farrah's fight was near the end, and that was how he wouldn't mind if Farrah stayed like that forever, just so she wouldn't leave. At the time I was like what, why would anyone want someone to stay in that condition, who would want to live like that...although today I totally understand what he meant. The thought of Sue leaving is worse then the thought of Sue being in her present condition, non-responsive and on a ventilator.
I miss my friend.
ps...Susan Spring Cotch passed away this morning, October 5, 2010.
3 comments:
Cindy...
I googled our dear friend Sue's name and in the midst of the response..found your blog.
I too wrote about "our" girl yesterday, but it doesn't hold a candle to what you posted.
She is gone and I have not really allowed it to sink in yet.
They are discussing her wake and, just like her, it will be untraditional - held at a bar this Saturday...with info to follow.
Might you attend?
would like to meet her friend
:^)
I've been trying to decide how best to respond to this. It's hard for a person like me who really hasn't had to deal with the loss of a close friend or family yet. Even when my grand-parents died I didn't really 'know' them so it didn't hit me as hard. But I've so many friends and family I know I would miss if anything were to happen to them. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I can't understand exactly what you are feeling, but I certainly empathize and my heart goes out to you.
Cindy,
I am sorry about the loss of your good friend Sue. I too googled her name and discovered that she was well known and loved in the greater Chicago area. I hope the ceremony brought you some closure on the suddeness of her death at such an early age. At 49 years old also; I can surely feel for what it might be like to be taken from those who love you, much, much too soon.
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