Sara's burial garden plot

Well, first i have to tell you, this was not a burial plot. It was suppose to be a vegetable garden!



Last year my daughter cleared a spot in the backyard, and we had the greatest garden! Even the bunnies liked it, but for the most part, all the tomatoes survived and it was great. This year my daughter expanded the spot until it unfortunately resembled...a plot. Or as my husband called it, "a baby burial plot." But that was because we hadn't put the vegetables in yet, we were waiting for payday to do it. In the meanwhile my neighbor found another dead robin in her yard. It was the second one to fall out of the tree with no other signs of trauma. She was quite disturbed and i asked my husband (a mortician) if he would go over and get rid of it for her (since death is normally no big deal for him). The last thing i told him was "whatever you do, don't throw the bird in Sara's garden burial plot."

So guess where he buried the bird?

You got it...Sara's garden burial plot!
And my daughter is IRATE.

But wait, it gets better!

In the meantime, my neighbor saw something in the paper that said if you have more then one robin die mysteriously, you have to call the DNR. Which she did. And then she told me what they said.

They said, we have to go out, dig out the robin from the "burial plot" and wrap it in a double baggie, and put it in our freezer til they can come get it and check it out to make sure it doesn't have the West Nile virus or something.

I'm calling my husband right now. You don't think i'm going out there to dig it up do you?

Next years garden...this year

I have always dreamed of a garden in which the impatiens and begonias were color coordinated and the weeds thinned themselves. I have always thought myself "a gardener" but my husband says that's too strong a word. He says I'm more like a four year old someone gave a hand grenade to and told to go crazy-without the bloodshed.

Every spring i start the season vowing this is going to be the best year ever! I start out at Kmart (because they have the cheapest prices in my area) with about 40 dollars of dreams and stamina. I say stamina because after i get home with all my impatiens and geraniums and waxed begonias, it suddenly dawns on me "whose gonna plant all this crap?"

Pictured above is last years "next years garden project." What you see is my neighbors crappy fence and about 40 bucks of Publishers Clearing house irises and glads (10 dollars a month in 4 monthly installments!) which i planted in remembrance of my grandmother and uncle. (Actually i planted a cherry tree in honor of my grandmother but the rabbits ate it.) They've (bunnies) left the iris and glads alone. Shortly after i took this picture the lavender my neighbor gave me bloomed. You can't really see this because it's hunched over as the bunnies have been chomping on it, but the smell is absolutely intoxicating!


Everything in this picture (above) was donated years ago. The hosta's, the snow on the mountain, and the bush on the right. I have no idea what that bush is called, my neighbor Violet didn't want it, and so i went over and dug it up. Also pictured is the phlox before they bloomed. They're the tall plants to the right of the hosta's and next to the bush.


I LOVE pansy's but they break my heart every year. They look beautiful until July 4th, you don't even have to look at the calender, July 4th they still look great but i swear to God the very next day, July 5th, they bend over and die, they can't take the heat. It doesn't stop me from planting them, I mean what else can you plant in March that will survive the early spring frost?! The pansy's are the yellow and blue in the background. They looked incredible this past May but you can already see them fading.


I should have suspected something when a fellow coworker gave me a small paper bag with an innocent looking little "weed" and told me "just be careful where i plant it." I should have said "why?" I didn't and as you can see, this little "perennial" is taking over the entire yard and running over everything in it's path. I've spent three years trying to dig it up and it's spent all three years going "up yours" and re rooting itself all over my other hosta's and perennials. I recently went to a garden store and saw they were selling this "plant" for six bucks for a three pound bucket. You are welcome to come dig mine up for FREE! I'll even provide you a shovel.

Life in 46 seconds

There's a sad story out of Oklahoma City involving a Desert Storm veteran who worked as a pharmacist in a crime ridden section of the city, and an unarmed 16 year old who made the fatal mistake of helping his 14 year old friend with a robbery one week ago today. Except, neither boy expected the pharmacist to have a gun. The entire botched scheme was caught on video, and the robbery, from start to death took only 46 seconds.
In the first 10 seconds the armed 14 year old, and his unarmed friend enter the pharmacy, with the 14 year old waving the gun as his 16 year old friend struggles to put his mask on. In the next few seconds all hell breaks lose as the 16 year old jerks to the right of the video and falls to the ground while the 14 year old runs out of the store. The Desert Storm veteran is seen holding a gun and chasing (and firing) two more shots at the 14 year old. The pharmacist then returns and after checking on his two female employees, returns to the injured 16 year old and fires FIVE more shots into his stomach, killing him. The entire scene plays out in about 46 seconds on video. The police filed murder charges against the pharmacist after viewing the video.

You occasionally hear about these stories in the news, thief killed by store clerk in robbery attempt but maybe it's because after several years of living in Milwaukee I thought I was immune to the stories, until I saw this bad decision by a couple of teens play out on video, in only 46 seconds.

You have to wonder how long the teens planned for this, a couple of days, a week(?), did they single out this particular pharmacy or was it just opportunity, and a gun? And just how did the 14 year old get the gun, or did he steal it, did the boys flip a coin to decide who would hold the gun, or did the 14 year old have to talk the older teen into helping with the robbery, which I suspect could have been the case after watching the 16 year old struggle to put his mask on while his friend waved the gun. You have to wonder on watching this if it ever crossed their mind that maybe something could go wrong, or were they too focused on what they could buy with all their easy money. Did they ever once consider how easy it would be to die, in only 46 seconds.

Tonight, it's one week later and the 16 year old is in the ground while his 14 year old friend is behind bars, and a disabled Desert Storm veteran with a legally concealed weapon is facing murder charges, thanks to a bad decision played out in life, in only 46 seconds.

Being Stalked by Swine Flu

With all the tv coverage on the latest "soon to be" health disaster swine flu, it almost appears the swine's are getting even with us for our love of sausage. So the next time you open that package of bacon, make sure you look over your shoulder because...

Oh wait. It's a flu, that started with swine? Wow, i've always heard that pigs were smart, and now they've found a way to wipe us humans out with...

Look, i'm not trying to be funny, (oh wait, yes i am!) but my lack of humor is beside the point. Yes, people in Mexico have died from swine flu. People in Wisconsin die from drunken drivers. Maybe it's the fear of being struck down by something you can't see, much like any of those horror movies that have Jason in them, where you just know you shouldn't spend the night in that abandened summer camphouse, but you just can't help it...although in this case it's the flu, and it's hiding out in a beach near Cancun...well that explains the recent swine flu case involving drunken college students...i presume they had plenty to drink but you know what, maybe they were all sipping tea...no wait, they were college kids in Cancun! Are you sure they weren't drinking the water?

I can remember the hysteria over Aids in the 80's...Oh my goodness, beware of gay men! Oh wait, it's a virus...it affects the immune system. You don't have to be gay to get it. It's viral opportunity, let your guard down, let your immune system suffer, and one of many hundreds of thousands of viruses just waiting for their chance will pounce.

So don't eat meat, stomach cancer, don't go out in the sun, skin cancer, don't fly in airplanes, terrorists. Do like i'm planning to do, lay in a fetal position on the couch with a glass of red wine and the weather channel on the tube...til the husband stops paying the cable bill (or i run out of red wine) and i'm forced to go back to work.

My grandmother Reba Davison, who was a nurse and spent her life in the health industry survived the great flu epidemic of 1917-1918 and i asked her if she was ever scared. "No," she said, "i just washed my hands, washed my hands." And honestly, that's the best way to prevent most flu's, cold's, noroviruses, and um...colds, wait, i said that already.

So tonite, wash your hands, wash your hands, turn off the news, and enjoy the sunset...now where's my red wine?

We might need a new word for racist.

You were probably as shocked as i was to hear that Disney's Hannah Montana star Miley Cyrus, is a racist.

You see, sometime last weekend, Miley and her friends were goofing off while the paparazzi were near and Miley pulled her eyes in a slanted position. RACIST! That's right, Miley Cyrus got up that morning and decided to insult all of her Asian fans...at least that's the position of the OCA, which is an organization dedicated to the well being of Asian Pacific American's. They urged Miley to apologize and she did, explaining to anyone who would listen that she didn't mean to insult Asians...she was just trying to be goofy!

Sure, whatever Miley, we're on to you.

Honestly, racism is an ugly word that involves the idea that one's race is superior to another...but we've been throwing the word racist around for just about every stupid thing lately, that i believe we've totally diluted the meaning. We may have to invent a new word that means racist.

And if you don't agree with me, your probably a racist.


(see how stupid that sounds?)

Cindy

No good deed goes unrewarded...

Last week when the temperature was minus 10 below and the windchill double that...my mom and her friend were turning around in an Iowan parking lot when they saw a small cat dragging itself through the frozen pavement. The cats back paws appeared to be frozen and it was literally trying to pull it's body across the ground.

Well, who wouldn't be moved at the sight of such suffering? My mom immediately stopped the car and her friend rushed over to rescue the cat. My mom took the cat home, fed it some milk, wrapped it in a sweater and took it over to the family vet. The vet said, "what do you want me to do with it" and my mom replied, "save it."

My mom couldn't keep it as she already has three dogs but her friend offered to give it a home. The vet said that the cat would probably lose the top of her ears and perhaps a paw, but one day later, after putting the cat on an IV, the vet said it was looking pretty good for the cat. They just needed to do one more test.

The test came back positive for feline leukemia, and the cat was put down.

The vet bill came in the mail today. It was 200 bucks.

A New Day...or just a song by Celine Dion

Tomorrow we get a new President! (and a free donut from Krispy Kremes...hey wait, they give you a free donut just for walking in the door there...doesn't matter, any excuse will do for a donut!)

You'd think it was the Second Coming by the way people are acting about the inauguration and you know what, it's about time. But i don't mean just because it's President-elect Obama, we should have been doing this every four years, even if it was a president we didn't vote for...because democracy won. People voted, and the guy with the most votes won...Someday we might even say the gal won...Anyhoo, this is the way it works in America, and we're about the only country this happens in...Um Canada, I said just about or aboot, eh?...

You know what's happening in Russia? Putin, the guy that use to be Russia's president who hates our guts...he hand selected a a "puppet" um, man to be president when the Russian constitutional forbid him from ruling...i mean serving three terms...his yes man then made him prime minister, and then changed the constitution so when Putin fixes the Russian election and renames himself president, he won't have to worry about a crazy little thing called term limits. Oh, and when honest journalists and lawyers point out inconvenient truths about how he's actually running and trashing the country, they get assassinated.

So, it's a new day tomorrow, good luck and God bless our new President...and please resist the urge to trash the last one...it's time to move on.

(ps...New Day is a song by Celine Dion, but i prefer Love Can Move Mountains...i love songs with choirs in them.)

Thankful.

From February 2006...

I have always envied people who live near their parents...i'd hear them gripe and complain and i'd think..."wouldn't that be cool to live close to your parents so you could see them whenever you want - wouldn't that be a luxury instead of maybe a week out of a year and then again when there's a funeral to attend?" Tomorrow i load up the kids and head out to Iowa...a place where i use to joke "it's not the end of the world but you can see it from there...the big thing in the summer is to sit on my brothers roof and watch the storms roll in...i try to time the vacation so we get at least one tornado warning while we're there...

But lately the trips to Iowa have taken a different tone...my grandma is 98 this year, and my dad is fighting cancer and i find myself holding on to them a little bit longer and begging for stories about when they were younger...you know, the stories they've told a hundred times that i use to be able to say in my sleep...like the one where my aunt met Elvis Presley and was so nervous that when he asked her who her favorite singer was she blirted out "Pat Boone" (totally true)...Elvis thought it was funny BUT for years afterwards when anyone said something STUPID we'd say "Pat Boone."

Every spring my mom and i visit the graves of my great grandparents to lay flowers but the last couple of years she's taken to pointing out the spot where she and dad want to be buried and i find myself being jolted by an incredible burst of pain...like, someday it's going to be my turn to bring my daughter here to lay flowers and honestly, i don't think i'm ready for it, and time which use to move so slowly in Iowa is now suddenly moving too fast for me...but you know what..?
Tomorrow is a time for celebration because i'm going to go home and see my family and even if i win the lottery someday...I will never be as rich as i am now, at this moment.

November 2008 update...

My grandmother passed away later that year, and my grandfather-who i told you about last year when he got married again at 92(!!!)-just had a stroke about 3 weeks ago and doesn't know anyone including his lovely 85 year old bride...but you know what, i'm so thankful because my dad who had been fighting prostate AND colon cancer, is winning the battle! And my stepson Mark who has been to Iraq TWICE, is currently home on US soil and i'm incredibly thankful for that. And sure, i'd like to go home to Iowa to see my parents this Thanksgiving, but i have three kids at home, neighbors whom i love, one turtle and one demented dog, and i'm going to really enjoy this Thanksgiving surrounded by all of them.

"He's not my president..."

Just wondering...I didn't vote Obama...do i get to say "he's not my president..."

Because for the last eight years, that's been the thing to say when your candidate loses. "He's not my president."

I've never understood that, "he's not my president." But the bottom line is, whether i like it or not, he is going to be the president, and honestly, this nation NEEDS him to be successful, so the bottom line is; I didn't vote for him, but Obama is my president.

Just one thought President-elect Obama,

You promised your daughters a dog if you won the election...might i suggest one of our beautiful Wisconsin greyhounds? See, this way your daughters would have the joy of a dog who acted like a cat...sort of a two for one deal...just think about, ok?

Cindy Huber
ps...God bless our veterans and their families...thank you very much for your sacrifices.

It's so hard to say goodbye...

For most of this fall, i've been bringing my pots from outside into the house to protect them from the cooler autumn nights, but my husband finally put his foot down today saying the entire house was starting to smell like moldy dying plants, which is something coming from a funeral director...i would have thought his nose would be immune to that by now...but noooo....which is why, on this last sunny freak 70 day i'm gathering up my potted outdoor plants and saying goodbye.

So i'll start by saying goodbye goofy low hanging plant whose name i can't remember but i think started with a "b", i'll really miss banging my head on the bottom of your basket everytime i walked out the front door...but it was worth it because you looked stunning most of this summer.


Goodbye metal bistro set, which in concept, should have worked, but we didn't count on the tree branch that hung directly over the table, or the birds that ate the berries directly over our table, and then used the table as a pooping target...or at least that's what it looked like most of this summer.


Goodbye hobbits playing chess who did a poor job of protecting my ferns from the rabbits and chipmunks...have a nice winter rest in the garage, perhaps you can protect the lawnblower from the snowblower, or vice-versa.

VOTE!

I was amused at how all the local news channels were covering the election...folks, this occurs every four years, until they started interviewing people who were in their 40's and 50's who have never voted until today claiming they didn't feel they had a voice before...then i was annoyed...shame on those people...you had a voice...you just chose not to use it!

Not me...i cast my vote every four years and some years i'm real excited about the choices, and some years, not so much. I've also written a candidate's name on the ballet because the man i absolutely respect, Ralph Nader, needed my vote, regardless of whether he had a shot or not, because as he has said...

"A vote for someone you don't believe in, is a wasted vote."

Plus, my vote canceled out Julie Davidson's...sorry Julie...; )

This could have been anyone of us...

Seriously, this could have been anyone of us on any given day..."but Cindy, i don't drag race..." Perhaps you don't...it's been years since i was challenged to a race and yes, i did use to race back in the late 70's...i was a very good kid (i think anyway) who worked fulltime, and went to college fulltime and didn't drink (well, in the early years anyway)...but yes, i did race my dad's 76 Buick "boat" down Highway 47 at speeds at over 100 miles per hour, and this was the era before seatbelts-no one i knew wore them. And i have no excuse for it. I can't even tell you why i did except someone said "hey Cindy, i'll beat ya to Denny's" or something stupid to that effect...At any time i could have lost control and killed myself, or just as important, i could have killed someone else, someone who didn't deserve to die just because i wanted to shave 3 minutes off my drivetime to Denny's.

Stupid, stupid, stupid...and i still can't tell you why i did it...i have no excuse; i did it and i was lucky, and so was everyone else that day. I was a good kid, doing something incredibly insane, and i was lucky it didn't cost me.

Yet, i see the same mistake happening over and over on Highway 45 on my way to work and back every single day...not that anyone is officially drag racing

...No officer, they're not drag racing, they're just late for work, or running late, or in a hurry, or not paying attention with their speed...

Honestly, it seems as i've slowed down, everyone else is speeding up...if i drive 55 on I-45 i'm afraid i'm going to get run over by a SUV or a truck...don't believe me...feel free to follow me home tonite at 8pm...it's a lot of fun, believe me, but it's not for the faint of heart...

This picture above (reprinted from WTMJ 4) absolutely breaks my heart and my sympathy and prayers are with the family of Justin Meyers, but don't think for one second that couldn't be one of us at any given moment, on any given highway here in Milwaukee.

They're like cats...except they're dogs and they need a foster family

Question...would you like a dog but worried about long term commitment? Also...do you think this picture of Flanders and Fiona is cute?!

I just got an email from Ellen Paulus of Greyhound Pets of America-Wisconsin chapter...there is a real pressing need for foster homes for these Greyhounds...there is just too many retired greyhounds and not enough homes...but this isn't like adopting an animal where you have to take care of it for years and years...(you know, like adopting a turtle, i found out i'm on the hook for 75 years!)
Anyway, here's the email

..."Greyhounds make wonderful pets and there is always a surplus of them. People think they'd be wild and energetic, but nothing could be further from the truth. They are really laid back and calm dogs. More like cats actually."

Hi, we're adorable, and we need a home.

Greyhound Pets of America could really use your help to act as a temporary foster homes for these ex-racers to make a transition to home life while waiting for a home. If your interested, just email my friend Ellen at pauprint@execpc.com. Or if you want, check out the greyhound website at www.gpawisconsin.org.

NO MORE AUTOGRAPHS!

Ringo Starr has announced on his website that as of October 20th, he will no longer be signing autographs or answering his fan mail...and you know what's weird? Up til today, i couldn't have cared less about a Ringo Starr autograph and now all of a sudden i WANT ONE! That's right, 24 hours ago if you had said "hey cindy, Ringo's in the hallway passing out autographs--do ya want one" i'd be like, "nah, not right now, i'm checking to see if the coffee's fresh...or trying to download Beyonce ringtones or watching paint dry..." But now that Ringo has given us some kind of deadline, i'm frantically trying to come up with a Ringo address...

So i went on line and to the best of my knowledge this is his fan mail address;
Ringo Starr
1st Floor
90 Jermyn Street
London SW
146JD
UK

I have to give Ringo credit, i do have to tell you he has a reputation for being one of the nicer celebrities in the business and who does, in fact, answer his mail which was also the basis of a famous Simpson episode which appeared in 1991...(yes, i'm a Simpson geek-it was the greatest episode ever)

Oh, and by the way, Ringo's got a new cd coming out...it's called Liverpool 8....hmmmmmmmm, publicity stunt?

Random thoughts from a simple mind...

Only OJ Simpson, found guilty of all 12 charges of kidnapping and robbery by an all white jury, could claim he was a victim of racism...which, i believe was the same claim made by others after he was found not guilty of murder by an almost all black jury 13 years ago!

News flash...apples can lower your risk of cancer, diabetes, and lower your cholesterol...cool...when they turn it into a pill I'll start taking it!

So another presidential debate...um...i mean town hall meeting comes and goes and Obama and McCain must think we're stupid...ok...maybe not Obama and McCain, both whom i personally like but neither one of them said or offered up one real thing that i could go, "you have my vote..." I mean there was nothing new to go on (one's about change although I'm not sure how since he didn't go into details and one is a maverick, but couldn't really come up with anything that separated him from the current administration) and i guess maybe i should blame their handlers, press agents or whoever is telling them what to say...or i could just go "screw you both I'm voting Nader!"

And tomorrow John Lennon would have been 68 years old...what a waste huh? And the guy that shot him, Mark David Chapman, recently tried to get paroled after 28 years...it was denied of course...do you remember the reason Mark gave for killing a Beatle? He wanted to become famous!...Well Mark, if you wanted to spend less time in jail, maybe you should have killed someone a little less famous!!!

True ghost story...or why i don't get coffee after 8 here.

After suffering through the final Brewer loss of the season, and unwilling to subject myself to yet another Packer disaster, i decided to take a little walk through the woods...me, the dog, and an interesting tree...hey wait a minute...look closer...did that tree just wink at me?
It's interesting what you can find if your just willing to look a little closer, like here at work, for instance...now i don't believe in ghosts...but i do believe that there are people here that do...and that's because a certain little spirit has been bothering them late at night...apparently this ghost shows up sometime after 8 pm when most of the employees here have gone home and are listening to Terry Love on the radio...now i want to emphasize that this certain "spirit" has never bothered me ever...I've never had the hair on the back of my neck stand up, I've never had the chill of fear or whatever you get when something from another dimension shows up...but that might be because this--whatever it is--doesn't particularly care for me...nope...this "spirit or mist" likes to bother the female jock on our alternative rock sister station...showing up late at night to peek through her window while she's on the air...it doesn't hurt that she's cute, young and blond i suppose...making me suspect that this is a male spook...although, it scared the heck out of another of their early morning weekend jocks, who happened to be male, which makes me think that the spook overslept...which again, makes me suspect it's not only a male ghost, it's probably a teen...one of our older jocks who is "in tune" to this sort of thing once observed this spook who was walking around late at night wearing a baseball cap and cut-offs and little else...which struck her as weird as it was late December...oh, and she could see through him--that was the other tip off that something wasn't normal...however, when this "thing" realized he-it-whatever was being observed...he disappeared...totally freaking her out...which is why when she comes to work late at night she always brings coffee from home now, and which is why I, who firmly doesn't believe in such nonsense...never goes into the last place this spook was observed after 8 pm (the kitchen)...not because i believe or i'm afraid, but because i figure i have enough problems with the live ones...why cheese off the undead?

Lose ten pounds in two days! My new diet "secret!"

I once had a friend who lost almost 50 pounds in one year, and when i asked her how in the heck she did it she said one word..."gallbladder"...(or is that two words...I'm not sure because on the surface it looks like two words but when you type it out as gall bladder...see, it looks weird, doesn't it?!)

Now I'm not one to play the blame game but "curse you Wisconsin State Fair" with your half price Cream puffs and your delightful funnel cake stand situated directly across from where i was forced-against my will-to stare at your sign while i attempted to do a live broadcast from the fair...I've had nothing but stomach problems since. I've spent the last 3 weeks being sicker then a dog and like any concerned person, went directly to a informed source to further research my painful problem...that is, i called my mom...(she use to be a nurse and because of that and because of the fact that she is my mom...she officially knows everything...and she did, too!) I told her that lately everytime i eat something i get sick. She carefully considered this statement and then replied, "what are you eating?"...(see?...mom knows how to ask the tough questions!)

And i gotta tell you...i like to eat crap...or more specifically...fried crap...fries and Flintstones vitamins capped with a vanilla coke...(honestly, who needs drugs with you have vanilla coke-and it's still legal...although good luck finding vanilla coke!) And yes, i know i was on a big radio station contest with the awesome folks at LA Weight Loss and honestly, when i followed their plan i lost the weight, and i can just as honestly tell you that fries, and vanilla coke were not on it...or cream puffs...or funnel cakes...or deep fried snickers...i'm telling you i was doing great til the State Fair and then i fell off the eating healthy wagon right into the pits of deep fried heavenly hell!--(with a fringe on top.) Unfortunately willpower is not my God.

It was then i remembered my friend from Green Bay. She lost a lot of weight because of her gallbladder! She didn't get it removed until it became...well, almost a dangerous situation...You've seen that pill that advertises that it will flush out your fat when you take it with meals...sure, the one with all the embarrassing side effects like gas, and painful stomach upset, and exploding diarrhea...well, a gallbladder is like ALL that but without the 50 dollar price tag for 60 caplets...in other words, i'm getting the product for free!

On the plus side, i've just spent the last week cutting down on fried and greasy foods and it was a lot easier then i thought...and what made it so easy was everytime i cheated and ate something that tasted better then heaven, i had to grab a book and head to the bathroom...so now i'm looking at food and thinking to myself, is that delicous Taco John fried potato yummy thingy worth leaning against the toilet for three hours waiting to throw up...?

So after i consulted my mother the nurse, do you think i did the natural follow-up and consulted the doctor-haha...i mean the internet...you betcha! It's amazing what information you can find if you type in gallbladder detox...WOW! (pages and pages of stuff...(and not one piece of internet porn!) Unfortunately every single piece of gallbladder detox starts out the same way..."STOP EATING FRIED FOOD."

So i've found one detox recipe i think will work...or actually because it's about the only one that's easy enough for me to attempt...it involves 1. 8 ounce glass of apple juice, blended with 4-6 cloves of garlic that i have to roast for about 30 minutes...(now, i've never roasted garlic before...do i then put the roasted cloves directly into the juice or do you crunch them or...i always just buy garlic salt so i wanted to check with you first...) ...then i have to add ginger root and after i blend it all...i'm suppose to drink it...um...maybe i should call a doctor...right after i eat this donut one of the kids forgot to hide...

Actually, it was a quiet week...

Heeeeeeeey, it could've been worse, it could have been Alf. Speaking of celebrities, now it can be revealed that actor David Duchovny's recent rehab stay for sex addiction was actually an addiction for internet porn...couldn't they have just saved the money for rehab and canceled the internet?
So THIS is why Joanne Beachum couldn't work over the weekend. Our Joanne went and adopted this kitty (yes, the one pictured) from Purebreadcatrescue.org. And yet, amazingly enough, they still have a couple of cats left if you want to adopt a kitty, or cat...go ahead, check for yourself! Now how weird is this...the author of the best-selling novel THE Horse Whisperer, his wife, her sister and brother-in-law are all in the hospital after eating poisonous mushrooms they picked in the woods, cooked, and ate. It was serious enough that they all had to have dialysis. (You see, that right there, is why i only eat cheese pizza!)

Cloris Leachman is going to be one of the oldest dancers ever on Dancing with the Stars. Cloris is 82. Julie Davidson and i got our butts kicked by a 72 year old in a dance competition so do not rule out Cloris! (By the way, that is my grandmother Reba V. Davidson with Cloris...my grandmother use to babysit Cloris when she was a little girl) Meanwhile, everyone who was ripping on Republican John McCain for being too old, is now ripping on his running mate Sarah Palin for have a pregnant teenage daughter...(honestly i could care less...what does a pregnant teenager have to do with starving polar bears in Alaska or global warming or less foreign oil, cuz that's what i'm worried about this year)

My "next year's garden"

(This is a picture of one of my gardens, and that thing on the right is something called "lambs ear" which is very soft but doesn't do anything...it doesn't bloom, it doesn't smell...my grandson likes to pet it...but if you want it i'll trade you it for some black eye susans)

I have a saying this time of year when i know i did everything i possibly could to make my garden nice, but somehow it didn't match my vision, and now the season is coming to an end. I go "maybe i didn't get it as nice as i wanted, but there's always "next years garden!"
It's no secret in my neighborhood that i'm gardened challenged. I once planted a pretty cherry tree i bought for four easy payments for my grandma's 99th birthday, and that tree didn't even survive to the fourth payment. Then again, i've had some happy surprises. Like three years ago when i planted a sprig of peppermint because i like the smell of peppermint and exactly one year later the peppermint had pretty much overtaken the entire garden. Now to you, this could have been a big crisis, but i had just discovered how to make mojitos and now, just about every August 1st, i dig up the entire harvest of peppermint, invite the neighbors over and i'm the life of the party! Plus, the peppermint battles the "snow on the mountain perennials" i stupidly planted a few years ago. Now, that's a stinking crisis!

(This picture is next years next years garden)
I start out the summer with a dream, one or two garden coupons and a gardening catalog. I know exactly where i'm going with this, and how nice my garden is going to look...til i get to the gardening place and then it's like i have ADD...oh wait, i do have ADD. Then it becomes "boy oh boy look at the pretty flowers, and oh, i want that one and that one..." Then i go home and my husband goes "oh my God, how much did you spend?!" So i start digging holes and eventually i find a place for everything i bought. I'm out every morning with a garden hose and miracle grow and my weeding thingy i bought off the internet and "is that another weed?...darn it!" And it's always a happy surprise when plants thrive and prosper, and then again it's always painful when they crash and burn...and wilt...and die (kinda like being a Cub fan). Then again, i've discovered things that are pretty cool along the way, like rotting bananas don't always have to attract fruit flies on your kitchen counter...you can bury them next to the rose plants for fertilizer, and cheap beer your never going to drink can be used to kill the bugs that are trying to kill your roses...and, that's about it i guess...
So this growing season is over and maybe my garden didn't turn into the garden of Eden i'd been hoping for... but that doesn't matter, cuz there's always my "next years garden."

He leaves the light on for me

If you've ever wondered what this radio jock does after she leaves the station...wait...you've never wondered...not ever?! Shoot...because, when i was a little girl listening to the radio and television, i use to imagine all of my favorite celebrities leaving the airwaves and heading out to their fabulous lives which involved mansions and kids didn't try to stay out all night. But honestly, perhaps celebrities are humans, just like you and me, who put their pant legs on, one leg at a time. ("more cowbell please")

And maybe none of them are lucky to have someone waiting home for them, like i do. Sure, my babe Max is only 12 pounds soaking wet, and honestly, i know that for a fact because he spilled over his water dish the other night in disgust because his food bowl was empty, and then for the fun of it--and because i had a couple of vodka lemonaides in me--i said "hey kids, the dog is soaking wet, let's weigh him!"

But, much like death and taxes, acne breakouts just before a special event, or a craving for a hot fudge sundae two minutes after Kopps closes for the night...my baby is always waiting for me...with his leash...ready for a walk regardless of whether it's raining, sleeting or lightning...which is comforting in a weird sort of way, knowing at least one person in the house is glad to see me, although on the other hand...doesn't anyone else walk the da*n dog during the day!