Be Fit for Summer Contest...the one where we didn't think anyone was going to enter

Man, i wish it were that easy!
I mean, howabout if scientist could invent a magic weight loss pill so we wouldn't have to rely on willpower anymore! Honestly, they can put a man on the moon, but they can't invent a fried chicken or chocolate malt that melts fat on your thighs!

This is what i looked like when i first started here at B93.3 last July. I had lost over 30 pounds on LA Weight Loss (204 pounds and got down to 169) and kept it off!...Until the last couple of months when i slowly allowed the bad habits that got me to 204 creep back in again; Here's how it happened...i went back to school fulltime and i was working here at B93.3 (that's right, blame the radio station) and instead of using the common sense that LA Weight Loss had taught me, i slowly introduced the bad habits that had originally gotten me to 204 pounds in the first place! (If i stop at McDonalds and have a couple of fries or drink Coke instead of Diet Coke, whose it going to hurt?)

I have never been more disgusted with myself! After all that hard work, it only took a couple of months (no lie) to put that weight on and the only one i have to blame...is me!

I don't know about you, but i'm getting sick of radio jocks-including ME-telling you how great a diet is...as if that should inspire you, especially if you followed my last journey through the weight loss jungle...after all, wasn't i the jock who told you how great Metabolife was? (I was and it was until it was deemed unsafe and taken off the market) If i'm going to do a very public diet on the radio, the least i can do is give you a chance to join me! And because LA Weight Loss taught me how to eat, and how to lose weight eating real food, they were the people we (B93.3 and me) approached with this idea; How about a contest where people could write in 93 words or less why they would like to challenge me in a BE FIT FOR SUMMER CONTEST...easy right?
WRONG!
We had 162 entries, (after the doubles/duplicates were taken out) and every single one of them, heartfelt, heartbreaking, and honest. And i related to each and everyone of them! I knew i was in trouble and i called in the promotions staff, and coworkers (six of us, including me, all who were either fighting the battle of the bulge, or had won the battle). I want you to know that each and every one of your 162 entries were read, and argued about. The first 100 eliminations were somewhat the easiest because of health problems (some of you are battling cancer and heart failure and i honestly think that you have a hard enough battle to worry about without adding a public weight loss challenge on your plate!-you are also in our prayers)

The next 50 entries were the worst! Honestly, you all should have won, but we only had three slots. Now the real arguments began, and we all had our favorite entries and people we felt should win. I had about 15 i was pushing for, and so did everyone else. We then cut the entries down to 20, and then 10, and finally to 5 listeners, and we still couldn't agree. I can tell you now, that when we announced this contest last week, my promotions boss and myself thought we'd be lucky if we got 5 entries! Our LA WEIGHT Loss contest ended at midnight, March 30th and by 6 pm last night (March 31) we still didn't have a clear winner!
Want to know why it took so long to announce a winner today? We still weren't sure on the last winner...

Finally, this afternoon (at 5:15) we had our three challengers;

1. Renee Clark of Milwaukee who told us about being a 6th grade teacher (who gets taunted by some of her kids because of her weight-she was our clear cut favorite)... 2. Gregory Castle who owns a bakery and is facing a 50th birthday this summer, and 3. Lynne Litzenberg whose weight battle began nine years ago after she quit smoking and switched to food, who was worried about how her bad food habits have transferred to her 3 sons (one who is graduating this year and she was terrified at the thought of being in pictures with him), and was also worried about a 25th high school reunion (motivation).

Were they the most deserving winners? I think that's impossible to say for sure, because this was such a subjective contest. I even eliminated two very dear friends of mine that i know personally (i love you DawnEllen and i will call you this week), and have witnessed their battle with their weight (and who i knew were worthy)because i was over-ruled; Angela of West Allis, for instance, she just turned 40 with enough stress on her to cause a heart attack (she has a son in Iraq), Paula of Muskego who i'm probably gonna call up and exchange recipes with, (or maybe email, i don't want to bother you during dinner), Kelly of Waukesha you are "one sassy-you know" and have exactly the same challenges as me...lets do coffee soon...Kate of Franklin whose trying to get in shape with her husband and Kathy from Milwaukee who wants to go from a 14 to a 4 or 6...trust me, you can and if you need a walking partner i'll find a way to make that happen...Debbie K of Greendale who was munching jellybeans while driving home from work...you should have your own blog! I LOVED your entry, but i was over-ruled...Amanda of Milwaukee has a fiance in Iraq that wants to look good for her upcoming wedding-God bless you and i hope you and your husband-to-be have a long and wonderful life together...i loved loved loved an email from a listener who told me how she cheated on her honey with her lover Haag N Daaz-you were in the top 5(!)...and a very inspiring email from

Susan Duvall of Wauwatosa: Turning 60 in April, i need to lose at least 40 pounds. I went back to college at age 56 and am now a fully licensed Registered Nurse. I have shown perseverance and dedication to achieve one of my life's dreams and losing this excess weight would be the other. Help me achieve this new goal/dream for beginning my 6th decade.

Some of your emails were heartbreaking and incredibly inspiring and much too personal to share here but i will email you to see how i can be of help.

All i can say is we tried to make the best decisions possible, and to thank you so much your entries.

Cindy Huber
April 1, 2008

Love in the 90's

This is my grandpa George Huber and his new bride and my new grandma taken on their wedding day last August. My grandpa is 92, and my new grandma a much younger woman, 85. Aren't they adorable? Young love is so overrated!

Why Easter is my favorite holiday

I love Easter, i really do, and it's not because of the chocolate's or candies because if that was the case, Valentine's Day would have Easter beat. (Maybe it has something to do with the fact that i feel guilty biting off the head of a chocolate bunny, but no such guilt when it comes to biting off Santa's head-he knows when you are sleeping, oh yeah(?) Not without your head Santa!)

No, i love Easter because of the promise it holds, victory over death, and the promise of something "out there" and to me that means the promise of seeing my loved ones again. You know, the family members that have left the building, like Elvis... And i hope you know that i have no intentions on getting all preachy on you, honestly, i'm the last person who has the answers to, well, anything though i'm always happy to share my opinion...but i'd like to think that that has more to do with me being a female!
Honestly, we have a staffer here who doesn't believe in life after death (although she does believe in ghosts!-go figure) and i love her dearly. She always wants to argue about how impossible it is to believe in Adam and Eve, and the flood, heaven and hell and stuff like that, and i say it doesn't really matter if neither of us can or cannot explain it because when it comes right down to it, you either can believe in something, or not, and i prefer to believe in something.
It's called faith, and it takes faith to believe in something, or faith to believe in nothing...but anyway, i like the hope that i will see my loved ones someday because the alternative is not something i want to believe in...and that is why Easter is my favorite holiday. (well, that and the peeps)

Jesus take the wheel

You know how mommy's cry when their kids go off to grade school the first time? The daddy's usually cry the first time their kid comes home with a brand spankin new drivers license!

This is my little boy Mike. I was just walking him to first grade yesterday and now he has the keys to my car.
Exactly one week ago he conned some driving test instructer into issuing him a license...at least that's how i saw it. He did get some points taken off for not looking over his shoulder during a lane change, but that was it! I told him it might have been a few points for him, but in real life that could have been a car accident! He rolled his eyes and told me to lighten up, and that nothing was gonna happen to him. Which is what i believe i told my dad some, um, years ago...that was a few hours before i was grounded off the car for a month for running a red light. That's right, yours truly didn't even have her drivers license for 24 hours before she ran a red light with her daddy riding shotgun! Yep, this broad had balls! About a year later i plowed my daddys 78 Buick (big giant boat cars!) into the back of a sheriffs car. It was my first time to hit a patch of ice and i did what any teenager who has never driven in the winter did...i panicked and slammed the brakes. This was a long time ago when dinosaurs ruled the land and antilock car brakes hadn't been invented yet...wouldn't mattered...the sheriff was very kind considering that it was my first time, and although there would be a few more accidents, you always remember your first time!


This is my stepson Seth, who passed his drivers test 2 days ago...that's right, 2 teenage boys with a license in 2 weeks...as you might imagine our rates have instantly doubled along with this brand new ulcer i just developed! (Brought about by fear and stress of course) The boys think i'm being silly and can't imagine what i have to worry about! I think back to my youngest brother Doug, who got so many speeding tickets one year that my dad made him become a race car driver and sponsored him in amateur racing in Clear Lake, Iowa! My brother was actually very good but unfortunately his pit crew was always drunk so his race car driving career never took off! As for me, my nickname was speed queen in high school--and not because i was doing drugs-but because i once (ok, maybe twice) raced a couple of guys in my dads Buick boat doing 100mph! (oh, and yes i did win) Then about a month later i got busted in a "speed trap" doing 11 miles over the speed limit and was so upset by the (30! dollar bill) that i stopped speeding...(technically, as i only go the same pace everyone else is--and yes, i will use that as my legal defense, officer)


Here's my future race...er...driver...Jesus, take their wheels!
I called my dad the other day and asked him how he survived our driving, and he "are you kidding, he's still worried!"

Tim's Awake

Who needs a groundhog to "guess" how many weeks before spring when a turtle waking up from hibernation confirms it?
This is Tim and oh my goodness, is he posing?! Tim use to be my son's but, well, i'm the one who buys him his fresh lettuce, carrots, and crickets, and i'm the one who took him to the vet when he got an ear infection...(turtles have ears--who knew?!) The vet bill was over 70 bucks but it was worth it just for that knowledge! And the added information that Tim could last for up to another 70 years was icing on the cake! That means Tim and me could both be sharing a room in a nursing home some 70 years from now...man, i hope i die first!
But honestly, i have really come to love this turtle even if i'm the only one in the house who gets all excited when he wakes up from his long winter nap, (turtles hibernate for 6-7 weeks at a time during the winter) because that means he senses spring!!! (Or he wants to mate, or she wants to mate...i guess i should have asked what sex he/she was the last time i had Tim in there--maybe the next time i have an extra 70 bucks...)

Signs that Spring is coming....

I saw the first bud of spring yesterday, it was a budweiser can sticking out of the snow on my neighbors lawn!!! Yippee!!! Of course, with yet another winter storm watch hanging over our heads you've got find hope wherever you can.

Here's a reassuring sight, the proof that winter is slowly losing her grip, because my lilac bush is budding. Welcome back shrubs!

Then again, my husband and Max don't care either way!

People give up, but hamsters NEVER give up

For HAMSTER FANS ONLY!
This is the first video that i have ever attached to my blog, because, well, number one, i didn't know how, but number two, there never was a good enough reason to for me, til now. It's not just because i had a hamster growing up...didn't everyone in the 70's? It's because in watching this video, i was struck by the fact, that unlike myself...that hamster is going to keep working on achieving his goal, until he accomplishes it...which in his case, is getting through a door! Of course, for Mr. Hamster's sake i can only hope there isn't some big, fat cat on the other side waiting for him!

Persistent Hamster
Like i said, it's a video that anyone that ever had a hamster will appreciate...sorry that you have to sit through the 30 second commercial that precedes it...but as a kid who had something like 100 hamsters...(we always started out with two hamsters...but as anyone who ever had a hamster...there is no such thing as TWO HAMSTERS ever because those babies mate...well, like rabbits) and pretty soon the house is swimming in hamsters...although if you have a hamster like the one in the video, and a cat like we had...well, God forbid if the hamster figured a way out of it's cage! Which he or she would do eventually, because, well, they never give up! It's kind of weird, as i was watching the video and thinking about every hamster i ever knew, it occurred to me that i would have been more successful in life if i had been less human, and more hamster...then again, knowing my luck, there probably would have been a cat waiting for me on the other end.

When life gives you lemons...

These beautiful ladies are my classmates and teacher in the Medical Assistant Course at Bryant and Stratton College here in Milwaukee. I'm not in the picture since i'm the one with the camera!

I had always planned on going back to school when i turned 50 (and no i'm not 50 yet, but thanks for asking!) but sometimes life doesn't work out quite like you planned and you find yourself making new plans earlier then you thought you would.

In my case, my life took an unexpected turn when i got laid off from what i thought was going to be my dream radio job here in Milwaukee. I never saw it coming-does anyone(?)-and then my life became a "what the heck am i'm gonna do with the rest of my life", which sucks since i just spent the last 24 years of my life behind a microphone which means i essentially have no marketable skills whatsoever!

Then i heard about a cool program Milwaukee County offers those of us who are unlucky enough to be on the "not so wanted" side of employment. Your unemployment benefits qualify you for retraining and tuition. You go to the Job Hire Center just off the highway on National Avenue, sit through a couple of orientation classes taught by people who have been through what you're going through, and then you get assigned a caseworker (which in my case was the awesome and colorful Alvin-i love you Alvin!) and then they decide whether you qualify for retraining and tuition, or not. In my case, 24 years of radio made me a shoo-in!...i'm not sure if i should be depressed about that or not.


My inspiration in going back to school was my late grandmother Reba Davison, who went back to school in her 50's to be a nurse. I felt her presence all eight months that i attended school and my only regret was that she wasn't alive to know how much i appreciated her example.

If you have ever thought about going back to school, but thought, "there's no way i can do it, i'm too dumb or it's too late or i'll never be able to remember anything" IT'S NOT TRUE!
Here's a little known secret about college, teachers love adults who come back to school, because they know we're really here to learn and most of us don't come in to class with hangovers (at least most of the time) because we were out partying with our friends! Sure, it took me a little longer to remember things-what with my brain hard drive already full from years of worthless Madonna information, and yes, in order to relearn math i had to wipe out years of Madonna album and boyfriend information...but it was worth it.
You know why?
I spent the last eight months, not in front of the tube, but at places like Barnes and Nobles or the cafe at Borders doing homework with my kids, although much to my embarrassment, i had to ask my kids for help with my math! The coolest thing though had to be getting up early with my kids on the mornings after a severe storm to see if school was canceled!
You know what?
If i hadn't gotten laid off, i might have never gotten this opportunity to try something new, learn something new, meet wonderful classmates, and spend precious bonding time with my children over homework and vanilla steamers (you don't think my kids were gonna hang out with me unless i bought them something do you?!)
When life gives you lemons, make lemonaide!
(Then add half a quart of vodka to it)

Turtle Updates...or why i haven't been posting on my blog lately

Obviously, this isn't my turtle. But you gotta admit, this crocodile looks pretty pleased doesn't he? Luckily, no one was hurt by this croc, well, as much as someone can be "not dead", but is missing their arm...this picture is an example of what happens when you let your guard down at your job, and your job just happens to be a zoo keeper. This is why i chose radio, cause when i screw up, the boss calls me in the office and chews my ear...but he doesn't chew my arm off...so, it was a pretty easy decision...not that anyone offered me a "croc feeding job" although i'm sure one or more of bosses would have if they'd have had that option!

Actually, i have spent the last few months going to school full-time to be a medical assistant. I had always planned to do that; follow my grandma's example when i turned 50 and go back to school, but a brush with my mortality about a year and a half ago speeded up my decision. I took a good hard look at where i was going with my life and i wasn't happy, i was in a job that didn't matter (to anyone but my husband cuz he really enjoys it when i bring home a paycheck!) and i was more or less drifting through the years, waiting for something to happen...but a weird thing happens when someone tells you that you could die...you start realizing that tomorrow isn't necessarily guaranteed, and you get a real sense of time flying by like a windy day...so i spent a few months looking for a school and now i'm knee deep in math homework going "what the heck was i thinking-wouldn't it just be easier to be a zoo keeper? "

ps...btw, my turtle Tim is fine, he just woke up from his long winter nap (he hibernates for 6 weeks)...i hope that's a good sign that winter is almost over.

Where did i put the dog's booties?!

I don't own a decent winter scarf, i don't have a pair of gloves that match, and i have no idea where the snow shovel is...but the dog has a winter coat and bright red booties...somewhere...i guess i probably should look for the booties and coat when i get home...

Ok, you caught me...i know where the coat is, and the booties got chewed up probably about 3 minutes after this picture was taken...this was just an excuse to post a picture of my cute dog on my blog...pathetic huh?

Ok, you really caught me...this picture was taken just after my son did his own laundrey for the first time...look how clean the bottom of his jeans are!

Learning to float

It's been over a year now since my grandmother passed away, and i've found that i've just now learned how to float. One year ago i was in shock which seems really weird since my grandma was 98 and a half, and honestly, c'mon now...why would that be a shock?
But have you've ever known anyone that you thought would be around forever, even if common sense dictates otherwise?

Well, that was my grandma.

I've had friends that didn't live long enough, and friends that died too soon...and yet the death that really got me was the one where my grandma lived to be 98 and a half.

Wow, i guess you can't pick and choose your grief, can you? And grief can be sneaky too...it's weird how it sneaks up when you least expect it, like the Christmas card section at Walgreens when it hits you that you have one less Christmas card to send this year, or the song Amazing Grace at church when it hits you that it was grandmas favorite hymn.

Someone once told me that grieving was a lot like learning to float in a lake. When you first try to lay back on the water you sink...alot...but then, after you hit the bottom a few times you kind of get the hang of it. Once in a while though you get hit by a big wave, and you lose your balance and you sink again, and again...until, you accept that ever so often there's going to be a big wave that maybe you can't handle (like a birthday anniversary or death aniversary), but for the most part, if you just relax, you can float above the water.

Tooting someone elses (horn) blog site!

I dare you to not to look at this photo and not smile!
This photo is funny to me for the simple fact that our building has a mouse problem...opps...mice cuz if there's more then one it's mice...my bad...and one scared the heck out of our Terry Love one late night during his request show...(of course Terry leaves the light down low-mood lighting he calls it) and apparently Mr. Mouse liked it too(!)...the rumor is the mouse hopped on the studio counter to request Ben by Michael Jackson.

This next photo absolutely warms my heart and not just because i love turtles. It's a picture of something experts say is impossible. It's a picture of an orphan who needed a mother, and found a surrogate or sorts in a 125 year old turtle that experts say is not "capable" of emotion or love. And yet, that's not what you see in this photo.

These pictures come from a website called Letsbefriends and you can find it on the web at http://www.letsbefriends.blogspot.com/ and i gotta tell you, on bad days or depressing days or any day the news is so horrible that i'm not sure i should even venture out of the house because i'm so discouraged with the human race down and can't have a beer til later day, this is the site i check out to reaffirm my faith in mankind...or maybe "animal kind!" It just seems the animals have a better take on love, kindness and compassion then anything i ever saw on CNN, Jerry Springer, or even Dr. Phil.

These are the kind of pictures you will find on the Letsbefriends website, and i gotta tell you, it's an upper for the brain, the kind of "oh my gosh isn't that cute" without the aftertaste of yuck. You'll find all these pictures on the website with explanations about the circumstances of how these animals ended up together. The doe in this picture is an orphan and the dog is mothering her/him.

Then again, i can't explain this one.

Neither do they...

doesn't matter...

isn't it sweet?...

um....

here's hoping the tiger doesn't wake up and go "i smell bacon..."

A Tornado of fire in our own back yard

Several years ago my husband and i visited San Diego and i asked him "why can't we move here" to which he replied "mudslides, earthquakes, and fires"...
I just thought he was trying to be funny until this past weekend when we got a frantic call from his mother. We had worried about her trip to Israel the week before. Turns out she was safer there. She had just gotten back from a tour of the Holy Land that Friday night, only to get a knock on her door early Monday morning from the police telling her to grab her keys and purse and get out now! She spent two days at a shelter in Miramar not knowing if she had a home anymore, and thank God, she was spared. Unfortunately, many of her neighbors were not. Many of the survivors said the fires looked like tornados.

There's this park about 10 miles south of Sturgeon Bay called Tornado Park and i use to drive by it alot in the 80's when i dated a guy from there. I use to wonder why it was called that so one day i brought a sack lunch and pulled over. It didn't take me very long to lose my appetite. The tornado the park refers to is of fire, and back in the 80's i had trouble wrapping my mind around that ..."a tornado of fire, what the heck would that look like?" Well, thanks to the California fires, now we all know what a "tornado of fire" looks like."

And that's why i almost lost my lunch that day. I realized that i was standing on sacred ground. Some 60 people burned to death on the spot i was eating my lunch. The park is quite close to what once was a village called Williamsonville where some 77 men, women and kids called home. On that October day back in 1871, the Chicago fire was in full swing and there was a fire brewing across the bay as well. But being that this was 1871, there was no tv or radio to warn the villagers of what was coming...and it became a worst case scenerio for these families. The fire jumped the the bay of Green Bay and surrounded the villagers who took refuge on this spot near Brussels, and literally burned them alive. Seven of the villagers hid inside the well that is pictured above, and only five of them survived.

So the next time you visit Door County, pull over and pay your respects to the lost souls of Tornado Park, and say a prayer for the California families as well.

Cindy note: If you'd like more information on Tornado Park, this is the website i'd recommend. These pictures are also from this website;
http://www.uwgb.edu/dutchs/geolwisc/weather/tornmpk.htm

The picture of the fire is from the KNX1070 news radio website. Some of the pictures on their website are absolutely shocking.

Ellen, Mutts, and missed opportunities

Please, please, please...Ellen, mutts, can't we just get along?!

This much we know for sure. Last weekend the folks at Mutts and mom's called Ellen Degeneres and asked her how the "mutt" they placed at her home was doing. Ellen said she had fed the dog to crocodile, opps, i mean a snake, uh, i mean a family with two kids under 15!

Which was horrible, simply horrible, as Ellen and her partner had signed papers stating that if they couldn't keep the dog, they had to give it back.

Cut and dried.
Maybe.

It sounds like Ellen's producer got snippy with the owners from Mutts and Moms and they got snippy back. Ellen gets emotional on the air and the Mutts and Moms declare that they are not gonna take any crap from anyone. Then the owners of Mutts and moms get death threats and they start crying. And Ellen takes two days off from her show to recover.

All for the love of a little dog named Kibbles, Triscuits or Cheeseits or something i don't remember...here's what i know:

Last year over 14 THOUSAND animals came to Milwaukee's animal control center and over 40 percent of those got put down...put to sleep...what a waste! What i mean to say is, if your looking for an excuse to cry over something, cry about that!

Personally, i thought it was a huge missed opportunity for everyone...imagine this, the owners of Mutts and Moms comes on Ellen's show...they explain why they do the rules the way they do...Ellen apologizes...then the owners make an exception and check out the new family and EVERYONE IS HAPPY!!! Think about that for a moment, if everyone had taken a chill pill last week, the only problem Mutts and Moms would be having today is what to do with all the money in donations everyone would have sent them!

Pretty cool idea don't you think?! While your mulling that one over excuse me while i work out this Iraq war situation and what to make for supper....

Ps...this mutt pictured above is named Recco...i got his picture from www.dogsindanger.com According to the website he has 6 days before he gets put to sleep...if you want to cry, cry for him. Better yet, he needs a home. Ellen?

One more thing...Milwaukee's animal control shelter is holding an Open House tomorrow and they're offering a rabies vaccination for 7 bucks and a microchip for 10...(414) 421-8881.

One year later...

I still feel the same way...

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Why the Amish are better then you and me...
OK...just me then...

Your probably better then me too, because there is just NO WAY i could have been that forgiving if someone had shot ten little girls in my community (and five of them died!) No way!

I would have been madder then heck and i would have been on the tube and radio letting everyone know it!
You probably have heard how the Amish in Pennsylvania, on hearing that a local milkman-madman had shot and killed some of their neighbors, daughters and friends, promptly forgave him and lent their support to his widow and children.

Wow!

What's wilder...that their forgiveness made major headlines...shows you how rare something like that is...And i'm a little ashamed too...not at the fact that they can forgive and i, probably not as much...but the fact that i always sort of, well, while i didn't think i was better then them i certainly didn't understand how they could stubbornly cling to the 1800's while the rest of us went wizzing by them in 2006...

My son and i were driving towards Iowa one freezing January Sunday morning on Highway 18 when we passed several of the Wisconsin Amish on their way towards church...i had the heat blaring and the radio on and they were huddled together in open air wagons with blankets...my son had never seen Amish before and simply couldn't believe that they didn't have cars, and television and PS 2's..."they don't want to live in our world" i told him then...and today, who can blame them? But the fact that they can forgive and continue to love after all that has happened to them...well, i'm not even in their league.

Remembering an uncle who raised seahorses (still miss you Uncle Bob)

It's hard to believe my uncle, Robert (Bob) Falt has been gone a year.

He actually passed away a year ago yesterday (September 9, 2006), but i actually didn't get the news until the next day, right before i went to an appearance at the Milwaukee County Zoo...which was somewhat appropiate. My uncle loved animals...he bought a puppy 4 months before his death...how optimistic was that?!

My mom (his sister) and i visited him at his new apartment in Tucson, Arizona last April...after he defiantly checked himself out of a nursing home he had been staying in (he suffered terribly from poor health due to diabetes). Yet, about 6 months before he died, he decided he wasn't going to spend whatever time he had left in a home and out he went...ironically, he did bring one thing home from the nursing home...a new love for small dogs...because up til then, my uncle who could keep anything alive, including real live seahorses (in his basement no less!) was a big dog lover. He was also a smoker which prompted my mom to make a deal with him...stop smoking and we will get you a puppy, because that's what you do for someone whose dying...you get him a puppy, right?!

So basically, my mom and my uncle pored over the newspaper ads looking for shiatzu's (which was the nursing home mascot at the place he stayed at). I was the killjoy who kept questioning my mom (in private of course) "what the heck are you doing, he's gonna have a dog peeing all over the place while he's suffering from cigarette withdrawal..."

No one listened to me of course, and one day after we got to Tuscon, we ended up with a puppy named Buddy...who totally ignored my mom and me and went straight to my uncle like he was a big chew toy...which unfortunately, he was...my uncle had no feeling on his feet and legs and i kept begging him to wear socks and slippers so the dog wouldn't chew on him...but, my uncle just smiled at me and told me to quit sassing him and let him enjoy his dog...which i finally did.

We later found out that Buddy was at his side with him when he died, and that he brought my uncle an incredible amount of happiness at the end of his life. I did mention he raised seahorses didn't i?

Last year i bought some bearded german iris's which i planted in his honor but they didn't bloom this year(no surprise, i suck at gardening), so i did something else i thought i'd never do...and no it wasn't seahorses...they don't even sell those anymore because their almost impossible to keep alive...i thought i'd start small...a goldfish. That's right, a single solitary goldfish...i think i actually kept one alive for 3 days once...but, today in memory of my uncle Bob, i'm going to attempt to do something i've never been able to do in my life...raise a goldfish. I thought i'd start small, work my way up...
a goldfish this year, maybe a shark or electric eel next year...just kidding...i think i'll probably have my hands full with the goldfish. I named him Buddy. I don't think my uncle would mind.

Things i learned at the Wisconsin State Fair

Things i learned at the Wisconsin State Fair:

1. Herb Kohl's 25 cent flavored milk and hot buttered popcorn do not mix ever...however;
2. Hot buttered popcorn at the fair is always worth a potential gallbladder attack provided i remembered my Rolaids...oh shoot!

3. While giving the kids who make your fresh lemonade drink a tip doesn't necessarily ensure the good Karma the tip jar implies...it does insure that no one will spit in your lemonade.

4. If you find a penny and pick it up, all day long you'll find good luck only works if it's heads, not tails...at least that's what the mystic who offered to guess my weight for 3 bucks told me...(i offered him six bucks not to.)

5. That while an article in the Shepards Express may claim that cream puffs are over- rated, the extra 5 pounds on my gut from eating them last week says otherwise!

And last, but certainly not least; (according to the memo i got from my boss...)

6. Never, ever, call creampuffs the crack cocaine of the bakery world...even it's true...
....."why yes officer, that really is powder sugar on my face..."

Michael Vick sucks!...

Michael Vick SUCKS!

There, i said it...ok? Don't give me this crap on "it's how they do it in the hood or wherever and/or it's a cultural thing" because that is BULLSH#*!!!

OK?

Because the day that dogfighting is simply a CULTURAL THING...then we as a nation are in a big MORAL CRISIS! And here is the scarey part...according to a friend of mine who works for MPS (and shall remain nameless because well, she works for MPS)...most of her students can't figure out what the fuss is all about...dogfighting is entertainment to them...and just hearing that scares the heck out of me.

The idea that is ok for one dog to rip another to death...with one dog screaming in pain as a bunch of morally DEAD pieces of crap cheer this on and consider it entertainment?

And yet, people are supporting Michael Vick...saying "innocent til proven guilty" and blahblahblah...ok...i gave OJ the benefit of the doubt...for all i know, he's out looking for the real killer right now on some golf course in Florida...but, the feds found bloody dogs and dead dogs, and dogs with glass embedded in them, and well...i guess the benefit of the doubt ended right there...although, you know, Vick claims that he was renting out the house or loaning out the house and didn't know what was going on so in that case here's where i would be willing to give Vick, that benefit of a doubt;
1. Apologize, you didn't know what was going on at your, um...mansion, and donate a huge sum of money to the humane society or pitbull rescue or some organization like that...

2. Apologize, and howabout a public service announcement saying how bad dogfighting is and, sure, it didn't work for that doctor from Grey's Anatomy but, he's not in as much trouble as you are buddy...

3. Apologize, and volunteer at the humane society or pitbull rescue...offer to walk a couple of the dogs or something, get one of your peeps to pick up the poo...dig what i'm saying brother?...

Right now, at this moment, you, Michael Vick, could influence an entire future generation of kids to STOP dogfighting, but honestly Michael, i don't think you have the (foot) balls!

Fm 106.1...My Adventure at Country Thunder

I guess i could have also titled this why it's never a good thing to meet your idols.
I've been a fan of county radio since 1984 and over the years i've been blessed to meet alot of awesome country singers, but there's always 1 or 2 that your in absolute awe of...and you always think to yourself, "man, i wish i could meet so and so and tell them how much their music has touched me," and well, Lorrie was one of those people. So of course i jumped at the chance to be an emcee at Country Thunder over the weekend and looked forward to the chance to tell Lorrie how much i've enjoyed her tunes. There was another jock there from Chicago who got to do the jumbrotron interview which was probably a good thing since, after i met Lorrie...ok, let's just put it this way...i lost 30 pounds last year, but honestly, i'd have to lose another 50 before i could on the jumbrotron and not look like a monster next to her.
So it got close to the time that Lorrie would be on stage, and i gotta tell you, although i've introduced close to a hundred country stars on stage i have never been this nervous in my life.

I've rehearsed my opening speech probably a hundred times til i know it forward and backwards, all two minutes of it...and then they drive Lorrie up in a golf cart and oh my God, she hasn't aged a year since i've been a fan...and that's about 18 years!

She steps out of the golf cart like i would bounce out of a golf cart, but she does it with about 8 inches of stiletto heels, a dress, and not one hair out of place. I suddenly become very conscience of the fact that i have been out in the sun all day, my eye shadow has now melted down to my chin, and i'm covered in Country Thunder dust...i'm embarrassed to even look at her.

So, now the appointed time comes and just as they're handing me the mike to step out on stage, her manager informs me that we're running late and to cut the intro to 10 seconds...arrrrrgh!!!! I'm not even sure now what i said, perhaps something like "her voice is going to break your heart" ...but Lorrie must have liked it because she stuck her hand out to shake mine and said "thank you" and then here it is; my opportunity to tell Lorrie how much her music has meant to me all these years...so, did i tell her that?

Not exactly.

In a voice about 12 octives above my own i said "i love you Lorrie"...actually, i think i screeched it...all i know was blood was coming out of her ears as she smiled sweetly, took the mike and strutted out on the stage, and i dragged what was left of my dignity off the stage in absolute embarrassment.

I've only been that bad once before...years ago i had the chance to interview Dennis Deyoung, formally of the rock band Styx, the man whose voice was the soundtrack of my entire high school experience...he called me up for a radio interview and every single rational thought and question flew out the window as i asked him the only question that came to mind;"Do you wake up in the morning and go, oh my God i'm Dennis Deyoung?"
He was very nice about it but my husband and kids weren't...for weeks after that they'd taunt me with "hey mom, do you wake up in the morning and go...oh my God, i'm mom and i need to do the laundrey?"....and on and on.....
So maybe i'm not really meant to meet my idols...maybe i'm better off in the future staying behind the mike, and not in front of a country star where i'm liable to embarrass myself with some harebrained compliment that would perplex them and humiliate me and wait, whose coming to Germanfest...Gretchen Wilson?

Game on.

Ps...thank you Kerry for being an awesome boss...i'd say more but then i run the risk of making a fool out of myself...again.

Psps...the above picture of Garth Brooks and me was taken at the Shawno County Fair back in September of 1990...you had to pay 10 bucks to see the Yuppers but Garth was FREE! This was also one of the few times i didn't make an idiot of myself.

Open Pantry has free internet and other things i discovered on my summer vacation....

Isn't this cool...Open Pantry has free internet...well, sortof...i had to buy a cup of coffee, sunflower seeds and Sominex for later, but...oh, the other catch...you have free internet but it's only for 15 minutes at a time which means this is the third time i've tried to post...here goes;
Well, i know i haven't blogged consistanty in a couple of weeks (um...actually, since May-but it feels like a couple of weeks)...but i think i have a decent enough excuse...
I HAVE A JOB!!!
Right about the time i resigned from KTI i marched into Remedy Staffing Agency armed with an absolutely worthless resume and about 2 pounds of ego left...
24 years of radio has left me with ABSOLUTELY NO SKILLS (with the exception of absolutely worthless trivia that nobody really gives a damn about although i think it's pretty darn awesome that the song that goes "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire" was written in the hot heat of July...for real, cool huh?...hey, do you have a job?)

Where was i...oh wait, that's right, i walked into Remedy Staffing because i heard that one of the ladies that run it called Vicki use to listen to my show when i was on the Mix (about a hundred years ago)...and sure enough, Vicki gave me a couple of tests and i AM NOT MAKING THIS UP...i can type about 40 words a minute-not counting all the errors)...anyway...i qualified for something called "light industrial" and i got to tell you, i'm pretty excited...i even took the "light industrial" test and apparently ACED IT! (sample question: you hear your friend is stealing and you think A. This is ok...B. Not ok...C. None of the above...D. Don't understand the question because i work at K Mart)... Vicki said there was an opening in June...BUT THEN...something else opened up!!!
I got called to do a three week assignment at a place i can't tell you BUT...there's a recall going on and i'm the person making the phone calls...ok, one of the people...thank God for that because the first day was kind of rough...well, actually it was the second day...on the first day someone there told somebody else that i use to be a dj and so there was a steady stream of people coming down to look at the "celebrity"...at least they were polite...because by the second day of me bitching that
"I can't find the file."
"It's on your desktop."
"I'm looking on my desk and it's not there.."

Well, apparently this is a computer term and you'll be happy to know that i learned what "desktop" meant...But after someone told someone who told someone else; the second day everyone was coming down to stare at the incompetent moron...you'll be happy to know that
this incompetent moron doesn't care, because now she knows how to "fax, copy, paste," and talk "electrician..." Here's a sample;

"Sir, the problem is your cable was terminated incorrectly on the heat trace wire!"

I have no idea what i just said, but apparently, this is not good...but hey, it's 11 bucks an hour which ain't bad although i'm still upset nobody called from Starbucks...you know how in the last posting i said "they can't all be running to Starbucks for a job..." they weren't...they all went running to the donut making job at Pick n' Save.



BUT, at least this incompetent moron doesn't care cuz i'm making 11 bucks and hour and THEY HAVE FREE COFFEE!!!!