This is my little boy Mike. I was just walking him to first grade yesterday and now he has the keys to my car.
Exactly one week ago he conned some driving test instructer into issuing him a license...at least that's how i saw it. He did get some points taken off for not looking over his shoulder during a lane change, but that was it! I told him it might have been a few points for him, but in real life that could have been a car accident! He rolled his eyes and told me to lighten up, and that nothing was gonna happen to him. Which is what i believe i told my dad some, um, years ago...that was a few hours before i was grounded off the car for a month for running a red light. That's right, yours truly didn't even have her drivers license for 24 hours before she ran a red light with her daddy riding shotgun! Yep, this broad had balls! About a year later i plowed my daddys 78 Buick (big giant boat cars!) into the back of a sheriffs car. It was my first time to hit a patch of ice and i did what any teenager who has never driven in the winter did...i panicked and slammed the brakes. This was a long time ago when dinosaurs ruled the land and antilock car brakes hadn't been invented yet...wouldn't mattered...the sheriff was very kind considering that it was my first time, and although there would be a few more accidents, you always remember your first time!
This is my stepson Seth, who passed his drivers test 2 days ago...that's right, 2 teenage boys with a license in 2 weeks...as you might imagine our rates have instantly doubled along with this brand new ulcer i just developed! (Brought about by fear and stress of course) The boys think i'm being silly and can't imagine what i have to worry about! I think back to my youngest brother Doug, who got so many speeding tickets one year that my dad made him become a race car driver and sponsored him in amateur racing in Clear Lake, Iowa! My brother was actually very good but unfortunately his pit crew was always drunk so his race car driving career never took off! As for me, my nickname was speed queen in high school--and not because i was doing drugs-but because i once (ok, maybe twice) raced a couple of guys in my dads Buick boat doing 100mph! (oh, and yes i did win) Then about a month later i got busted in a "speed trap" doing 11 miles over the speed limit and was so upset by the (30! dollar bill) that i stopped speeding...(technically, as i only go the same pace everyone else is--and yes, i will use that as my legal defense, officer)
Here's my future race...er...driver...Jesus, take their wheels!
I called my dad the other day and asked him how he survived our driving, and he "are you kidding, he's still worried!"
No comments:
Post a Comment