I've always envied people who live near their parents...I'd hear them gripe and complain and I'd think..."wouldn't that be cool to live close to your parents so you could see them whenever you want - wouldn't that be a luxury instead of maybe a week out of a year and then again when there's a funeral to attend?" Tomorrow I load up the kids and head out to Iowa...a place where I use to joke "it's not the end of the world but you can see it from there"...the big thing in the summer is to sit on my brothers roof and watch the storms roll in...I try to time the vacation so we get at least one tornado while we're there...
But lately the trips to Iowa have taken a different tone...my mom's been in the hospital seven different times this year...and every time I thought this was going to be the last time...
So when I go to Iowa I treasure every moment with them...and thinking about how things change over the years...Last year I put Skype on my parents computer...the hard sell is trying to get my mom and dad to use it...honestly, I have to beg them just to open the laptop...
Me: Just OPEN the computer...just DO IT! It's already on...just click the button that says answer with video...that's ALL YOU HAVE TO DO...just do it...
My DAD: Skype is spooky.
Really.
My mom says she doesn't want to be on skype because she feels like she needs to fix herself up before she goes on camera.
Me: It's just me...seriously..."hey, you look kinda pale, are you taking care of yourself mom?
Perhaps that's what she's talking about.
But get this...My mom use to talk my ear off for an hour, the phone would ring and I'd think "oh boy, I'm gonna be on this phone forever"...and my mom's favorite subject this time of the year is when the sun sets...this particular conversation usually starts about December 20th, the day before the shortest daylight of the year, where mom notes that after the 21st...daylight will start to swing the other way, and every night the conversation would start out, "today the sun set at 4:22p but tomorrow it'll set at 4:20p so we're going to gain another 2 minutes"...but I've also noticed in the last couple of years as my mom struggles with breathing it's changed...after 10 minutes my mom wants off the phone, and I'm egging her on, "so what time does the sun set this afternoon?"
Every spring my mom and I use to visit the graves of my grandparents to lay flowers and point out where she and dad are going to be buried, but the last couple of years it's started to feel real...and I find myself thinking "oh my God, someday it's going to be my turn to bring my daughter here to lay flowers" and honestly, I don't think I'm ready for it, and time which use to move so slowly in Iowa is now suddenly moving too fast for me...but you know what?
Tomorrow is a time for celebration because I'm going to go home and see my parent's and even if I win the lottery someday...I will never be as rich as I am now, at this moment.
Cindy Huber
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