...And this is coming from someone who is "technically" on a diet 365 days a year!
It's kind of frightening how it "all of a sudden" creeps up on you, one day, your jeans don't fit...(now, keep in mind your...ok, i mean MY jeans had been getting kind of tight lately BUT) ...then there's that awful day when even lying on the bed to zip up your jeans doesn't work...and then i'm like, "how'd this happen?!"
Has that ever happen to you?...No?...must just be me then...
There was a time a few years back where, out of TOTAL DESPERATION i wrote "NO" on the fridge in lipstick thinking that it would stop me during my late night raids...(under the logic that if i saw "NO" on my fridge at 3 am in the morning i would turn away and go back to bed)...i would have been better off writing "WASH ME" for as much good it did me, as the only thing i lost was part of my security deposit as the lipstick stained part of my fridge (darn you Max Factor!)
1. During my years as a professional dieter i have learned a few things...that drinking 8 ounces of grapefruit juice a day DOES work in helping you lose 3 pounds a month...(thanks to the National Enquirer for that information)...with the only problem, of course is it has to be the unsweetened crap and oh yeah, you have to ACTUALLY drink it...
2. I've also learned that you really don't have to exercise AS HARD if your willing to drink 64 ounces of water a day, which really wouldn't be that big of a deal except i never seem to remember to do it until 10 at night and then i empty out my 32 ounce cup of Code Red Mountain Dew from Speedway...(i'm trying to earn enough points for one of those free Applebee dinners)...then you fill the now empty cup with water and chug it down....SUGGESTION....if your not in "the mood" to chug a ton of water at one sitting it helps if you have one of those little packages of sour cream and onion potato chips...(you can get 4 for a dollar at most Pick N Save stores)..then you drink your water in two parts...grab a magazine and head on up to the bathroom...oh, and don't forget your pillow...your going to be up there for a while...
It's kind of frightening how it "all of a sudden" creeps up on you, one day, your jeans don't fit...(now, keep in mind your...ok, i mean MY jeans had been getting kind of tight lately BUT) ...then there's that awful day when even lying on the bed to zip up your jeans doesn't work...and then i'm like, "how'd this happen?!"
Has that ever happen to you?...No?...must just be me then...
There was a time a few years back where, out of TOTAL DESPERATION i wrote "NO" on the fridge in lipstick thinking that it would stop me during my late night raids...(under the logic that if i saw "NO" on my fridge at 3 am in the morning i would turn away and go back to bed)...i would have been better off writing "WASH ME" for as much good it did me, as the only thing i lost was part of my security deposit as the lipstick stained part of my fridge (darn you Max Factor!)
1. During my years as a professional dieter i have learned a few things...that drinking 8 ounces of grapefruit juice a day DOES work in helping you lose 3 pounds a month...(thanks to the National Enquirer for that information)...with the only problem, of course is it has to be the unsweetened crap and oh yeah, you have to ACTUALLY drink it...
2. I've also learned that you really don't have to exercise AS HARD if your willing to drink 64 ounces of water a day, which really wouldn't be that big of a deal except i never seem to remember to do it until 10 at night and then i empty out my 32 ounce cup of Code Red Mountain Dew from Speedway...(i'm trying to earn enough points for one of those free Applebee dinners)...then you fill the now empty cup with water and chug it down....SUGGESTION....if your not in "the mood" to chug a ton of water at one sitting it helps if you have one of those little packages of sour cream and onion potato chips...(you can get 4 for a dollar at most Pick N Save stores)..then you drink your water in two parts...grab a magazine and head on up to the bathroom...oh, and don't forget your pillow...your going to be up there for a while...
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