A new DOG DIET? What the...?!

Actually, it's not a diet for your dog...not that my dog couldn't use it...he needs to lose a few pounds cuz he's eating what i'm eating which come to think of it i need to lose...

Which is exactly why i LOVE this new book A DOG DIET...A MEMOIR...here's the deal, you can lose weight by owning a dog...which i can tell you does work...just by buying a dog and paying his first vet bill which turned out to be a couple of hundred dollars...my billfold instantly became several pounds lighter which in turn transulated into exactly 2 ounces on my scale!

Seriously, and by the way i was...it's a really great NEW book written by Patti Lawson which i enjoyed because...well, i love dogs...she writes on how her dog helped her lose weight by annoying her out of bed each morning to walk her...which, believe it or not...excercising in morning burns more stored fat (at least 20 percent worth!) then any other time of the day...unless of course your walking the dog over to Honeydipp donuts...other things her dog taught her about losing weight..."if it's quiet and doesn't smell good...EAT IT"..."if your dog likes your snack...you probably shouldn't eat it"...and most importantly..."the duties of dog care aren't burdens...their calorie consumers!"

THINGS I LEARNED FROM MY DOG...

My neighbors dog is in heat.
The cat's litter box smells.
There are mice in our crawl space.
Einsteins special theory of relativity in which space and time are intimately connected...oh wait...that was the cat!